SYNOPSIS
When college dropout Adam moves in with his aunt and uncle at their failing space-rock store, the last thing he expects is an amorous encounter with an interdimensional medic. Neither was a night with Adam part of the plan for Auriga. Her Mothership is scanning history for DNA to undo the damage of excessive cloning in the future, without leaving traces that would collapse their timeline. Guided by unknown spiritual forces, Adam and Auriga embark on a quest where the pair must navigate their feelings for each other, receive a lost message for humanity, save the rock-shop, and find new hope for life on earth.
CHARACTERS (in order of appearance)
HERBALIST/GAIA/PRESIDENT (F).. Mother goddess
ADAM (M).......... College drop-out
THERESA (F)....... New Age Aunt
ERNEST (M)........ Geologist
GEORGIE (F)....... Intern
MAJOR DON (M/F, hispanic)..... Military Intelligence Officer
AURIGA (F)........ Medic
DOCTOR RUCCOLA(M/F) .......... Psychologist
LOVELOCK (F)...... Holistic Professor
REX (M)........... Toxic bachelor
GLEN (M/F) ....... Glamorous Executive Assistant
NINA & GINA (F) ........... Spirits/Agents/Astronauts/Chorus
LITTLE HELPERS ............... Children / Aliens
Actors can double THERESA/LOVELOCK, ERNEST/REX, GEORGIE/AURIGA with quick changes in the final scenes.
SETTING
The action takes place at a geologist’s cabin and space-rock store in the Mojave desert, a spaceship, outer space, and an interrogation room. The time is 2015. There are two acts.
SCENE & SONG LISTING
Act One
Scene script page
1 SUNRISE – DESERT ............ 4
#1 NIGHT FALL ............. 4
SUNRISE - BEDROOM ........... 5
2 MORNING – DESERT ............ 5
#2 DRY LAND ............... 5
MORNING – BEDROOM ........... 6
3 DAY – DESERT ................ 9
#3 HICKSVILLE ROCKS ....... 14
DAY – STORE ................. 15
#4 SPICE IT UP! ........... 19
4 EVENING - DESERT ............ 22
#5 LITTLE STAR ............ 23
EVENING – BEDROOM ........... 23
5 NIGHT - BEDROOM ............. 24
#6 VISITATION ZERO ........ 24
#7 THE EYES ............... 24
#8 CLEAR SKY .............. 27
SPACE ........... 29
6 SUNRISE – BEDROOM ........... 30
#9 NEW YOU TOMORROW ....... 30
7 DAY - STORE ................. 34
#10 DON'T LOOK DOWN ....... 37
#11 MYSTERY BOX ........... 40
8 SPACE WITH CRESENT MOON ..... 42
#12 WHY DID YOU? .......... 42
9 DAY - STORE ................. 43
#13 INFINITE .............. 45
#14 WOW! .................. 49
Act Two
#15 ENTR'ACTE ............ 52
Scene script page
10 SPACESHIP .................. 52
#16 THE MAN .............. 55
11 BEDROOM – NIGHT ............ 61
#17 VISITATION ONE ....... 61
#18 ALIEN LOVE ........... 62
#19 GET ON THE ONE ....... 67
12 SPACESHIP .................. 74
#20 STORM IN A SPACESHIP ............. 80
13 SPACE WITH ROCKS ........... 81
#21 MIDNIGHT LAKE ........ 81
#22 COME BACK IN TIME ..... 82
#23 MOTHERSHIP ........... 84
14 INTERROGATION ROOM ......... 88
#24 OLD ENOUGH ........... 94
15 NIGHT – BEDROOM ............ 97
#25 VISITATION ZERO REPRISE ........... 98
16 EVENING – DESERT ........... 100
#26 BLESSED .............. 100
EVENING – STORE ............ 101
#27 DING DONG ............ 103
#28 LATER ................ 106
#29 HUNKAFUNK ............ 108
Musical number audios
Links in PDF: click to play.
... or download: newyoumusical.com/mp3.zip
ACT ONE
SCENE 1
SUNRISE – DESERT
A blue starry sky, with dawn at the horizon. A HERBALIST enters, sets up her road-side STALL, and shakes a tamburello.
#1 NIGHT FALL
HERBALIST
NIGHT SKY
STARS ABOVE
SHINE ALL DAY LONG
UNSEEN, BECAUSE
THE SUN SHINES STRONGER.
LIKEWISE...
Enter SPIRIT1, a maiden.
SPIRIT1
MYSTERIOUS BEINGS
BY YOUR SIDE
Enter SPIRIT2, an old lady.
SPIRIT2
ANGELS?
DEMONS?
SPIRIT GUIDES.
HERBALIST
ARE BY YOUR MIND DENIED.
HERBALIST and SPIRITS stand back-to-back as a trio.
HERBALIST (cont'd)
SO INTO DREAMS WE SLIDE
Transition to...
SUNRISE - BEDROOM
ADAM, a 20-something college drop-out, lies asleep. At the foot of his bed, a STRANGE ROCK pulses with an inner glow.
As the glow intensifies, ADAM sits up, in a night terror, flailing, as if his bed is approaching a precipice.
ADAM
No! No! Aaarrrgh!
He throws himself like a rag-doll from the bed and lands heavily on the floor.
sound: Beep Beep His bedside clock-radio alarm.
ADAM reaches up to press the snooze button, and pulls bed covers down onto himself. With a groan, he lays his head on the floor.
SCENE 2
MORNING – DESERT
THERESA with a basket hangs laundry on a line
#2 DRY LAND
THERESA
GOOD MORNING DEATH VALLEY!
HOTTEST PLACE IN THE WESTERN WORLD
EMPTY DAYS AND HEAVY HAZE
BENEATH THE HIGH SIERRA SWIRL
She hangs a pair of DUNGAREE OVERALLS.
BETWEEN THE MOJAVE AND NEVADA
AND AN UNFORGIVING SKY
LET'S SAY IT'S NOT SO OFTEN
THAT ANYONE DROPS BY
THERESA hangs the last item.
YET THIS IS WHERE WE'VE MADE OUR HOME
BY THOSE CRATERS OVER THERE
BUILT A LITTLE BUSINESS
OUT OF LITERALLY THIN AIR
THERESA checks the DUNGAREES. They're already dry.
She folds the clothes into the basket.
WHERE THE MILKY WAY GALACTIC CENTRE
RISES OVERHEAD SO BRIGHT
IT'S ENOUGH TO CAST A SHADOW
IN THE DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT
She carries the BASKET indoors.
Transition to...
MORNING – BEDROOM
Enter THERESA with TEA and DUNGAREES on a tray.
THERESA (cont'd)
Morning, Adam! It’s another beautiful day. How did you sleep?
(sees him on the floor)
Oh.
ADAM
Urrrngh.
THERESA
More bad dreams? You poor thing. Here, I made you some special tea for it.
ADAM
Thank you Aunt Theresa.
(sipping with a grimace)
Mmm. Delicious.
THERESA
And I fixed up a pair of your uncle’s old dungaree overalls. You can start in the shop today.
ADAM
The shop? Thank you. You’ve all been really kind, but ...
THERESA
Sorry dear. When your parents divorce, you drop out of college, and you have no friends or lovelife, I’m here for ya. But life and makin’-a-livin’ must go on. You need work experience. And we need fresh thinkin’.
Space-rocks aren’t exactly flying off the shelves these days.
ADAM
And you believe my two credits in Marketing and Environmental Studies are somehow going to help?
THERESA
That’s the spirit! And those bad dreams. Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something?
ADAM
About what?
THERESA sniffs the air.
THERESA
Just a feelin’.
Theresa notices the STRANGE ROCK.
THERESA (cont'd)
Where did this hunk come from?
ADAM
I dunno. I like it. It’s kind of ... funky.
THERESA
Funky? It stinks! I’ll take it back to the shop.
ADAM
Oh no, Aunt Theresa, I wouldn’t try to move it
THERESA
No trouble.
THERESA lifts the rock..
It seems to have a magnetic, gyroscopic life of its own.
sound: Weeeeoooo
The ROCK swings THERESA around, pulled by unseen forces, making swooping electrical noises.
THERESA (cont'd)
Woo-hoo!
ADAM
I told you.
THERESA struggles toward the tray on the bedside table.
ADAM (cont'd)
Be careful.
As she approaches, the ROCK affects the alarm clock radio, making it malfunction.
sound: Crackle crackle. ACTACTAaWEEeeeeoooo!
THERESA leaps back.
THERESA
Help!
ADAM is concerned now. He jumps up.
ADAM
Auntie!
THERESA trips on the rug, and totters backward.
Adam prepares to catch her, but every time he gets in place, the rock pulls in a different direction.
ADAM (cont'd)
Whoa. Where are you going?
THERESA
Waaaaah!
ADAM
Aaaah!
THERESA is falling. ADAM throws himself beneath her on the floor. She lands on him.
ADAM (cont'd)
Oof.
THERESA
How kind.
ADAM
(weakly)
No problem.
Are you OK?
THERESA
(brightly)
Fine. Fine. Thank you dear.
ADAM struggles to his feet.
And now you’re up!
Adam wrangles the STRANGE ROCK back to its original position.
ADAM
Best keep this thing away from anything electrical.
THERESA
I suppose it can stay there, for the time being.
But you, get movin'!
Theresa takes the TEA TRAY and exits.
Adam picks up the DUNGAREES, and sighs.
SCENE 3
DAY – DESERT
At the porch BREAKFAST TABLE, world-weary geologist ERNEST, and his young intern, GEORGIE, are attaching price labels to SPACE ROCKS, via two BUCKETS, and a clipboard.
ERNEST
(examining ROCK)
Any ideas?
GEORGIE
Dark matrix and coloured clasts. Perhaps it’s, um ... carbonaceous chrondite Dr Murchison?
ERNEST
Yes! Clever girl, Georgie. How did you know?
GEORGIE smiles.
ERNEST (cont'd)
Amino acids. Not life as such. But the building blocks of life. We’ll keep that one.
GEORGIE
Okaaay. What about these ... Pallasites?
ERNEST
Beautiful . . .
GEORGIE
And rare. Twelve bucks a gram?
ERNEST
Hmm. Maybe we should have a sale.
GEORGIE
Everything in the shop is already at “rock-bottom” prices.
ERNEST
And who’s buying?
GEORGIE
Someone looked at the website on Tuesday.
ERNEST
Really?
GEORGIE
Last Tuesday.
ERNEST
Nobody’s interested in space rocks any more.
GEORGIE
I am.
ERNEST
You’re sweet. But let’s say half-price on the pallasites, OK?
GEORGIE
OK
ERNEST
(excited)
Now, this one is four point five billion years old. Maybe the oldest object on earth!
Enter THERESA with the TEA TRAY.
THERESA
So maybe it can wait?
ERNEST
Uh?
THERESA
Until after breakfast?
ERNEST
Oh. Sorry dear.
Georgie separates rocks and breakfast.
ERNEST (cont'd)
It's just the rent is due and sales have been ...
GEORGIE
Between a rock and a hard place.
THERESA
That's all gonna change.
Adam starts in the shop today.
GEORGIE
Great!
ERNEST
(skeptical)
How is he?
THERESA
Still a little mixed-up I’m afraid.
ERNEST
Well he should unmix himself, if he wants to live at 2001 Meteoric Rise. Our business is “space-rock retailing”, not ... “spa”.
THERESA
Ernest!
ERNEST
Neil Armstrong didn’t laze around in bed all day then suddenly wake up on the moon you know. He had a plan. Goals.
GEORGIE
And a rocket.
ERNEST
Adam should consider the future. Make some money. Maybe get a girlfriend?
GEORGIE
Such as whom, round here?
ERNEST
Someone down-to-earth, like my Theresa.
GEORGIE
Oh
THERESA
Thank you Ernest.
THERESA examines Adam's TEA-CUP.
THERESA (cont'd)
According to his tea-leaves, he will go on a long mysterious journey.
GEORGIE
Cool. Where? It’s the World Science Fair in Kuala Lumpar this year, and I was thinking . . .
ERNEST
Forget it. We need you here.
GEORGIE
But if Adam works out OK?
THERESA
Maybe dear. We’ll see.
Enter ADAM wearing the DUNGAREES.
ADAM
Morning all!
ERNEST
Good mornin’ Adam. Nice britches!
ADAM
Er, thank you Uncle Ernest.
THERESA
Adam, meet Georgie. Our intern.
ADAM
Hi.
GEORGIE jumps up and shakes ADAM’s hand enthusiastically.
GEORGIE
Hi!
THERESA
We found her through the Hicksville Youth Employment Program.
GEORGIE
Turns out I’m the only youth in Hicksville. And this is the only job. Cool huh?
THERESA offers a BOWL to ADAM.
THERESA
Grits?
ADAM
Er, no thanks. I’m ... not hungry.
THERESA
Meh. That’s what you said yesterday, You gotta eat!
ERNEST
Too excited for the grand tour I expect.
And what about that marketing idea we talked about?
Adam produces a SMART PHONE and NOTE CARDS.
ADAM
I thought we could combine both, with a promotional video?
GEORGIE
Yes!
THERESA
Jeepers
ERNEST
OK. Then let’s get started shall we? There’s a wind blowin’ up, and I want to catch the mail.
Ernest takes the CARDS and adjusts his appearance.
Adam starts recording.
#3 HICKSVILLE ROCKS
ADAM
Action!
ERNEST
(to camera, reading from cards)
IF YOU’RE EVER IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
DROP IN. PERUSE OUR STOCKS.
FOR YOUR OWN PET PIECE OF THE UNIVERSE
WITH A NAME-TAG, IN A BOX
BANG NEXT TO AREA 51
MILE SIXTY, PAST BOONDOCKS
HANG A LEFT BY THE ROSWELL EXIT
AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN ...
ADAM gestures. The shop SIGN is revealed . . .
CHORUS
TO HICKSVILLE ROCKS!
They enter . . .
DAY – STORE
SHELVES loaded with SPACE ROCKS of all shapes sizes and colours, a LARGE MAP on the wall, two DESKS with COMPUTERS and HEADSETS.
Signs on the wall say “We Dig Space Rocks”, “Treasures from Space” , “Museum Quality”, “Do drop in”, “Everything must go”, etc
CHORUS (cont'd)
OOH OOH OOH OOH HICKSVILLE ROCKS
OOH OOH WOO HOO
THERESA packs a ROCK in a BOX.
THERESA
FILL YOUR TRUNKS WITH METEOR CHUNKS
FRESH IN FROM OUTER SPACE
Slaps a BOW on the BOX.
THERESA (cont'd)
FOR A GIFT WITH REAL IMPACT
TO PUT A SMILE ON ANY FACE
GEORGIE scans rocks with a HANDHELD SCANNER.
GEORGIE
THOUGH VISUALLY STRANGE,
THE MAGNETIC RANGE IS UNQUESTIONABLY ATTRACTIVE
She finds a curious sample.
GEORGIE (cont'd)
OR WHY NOT BESTOW THE HOMELY GLOW
OF SOMETHING RADIO-ACTIVE?
CHORUS
OOH OOH OOH HOO HICKSVILLE ROCKS
OOH OOH WOO HOO
GO HICKSVILLE!
THERESA
VIBRATING COSMIC FRAGMENTS,
SOME WITH HEALING POWERS
She puts on a PHONE HEADSET
THERESA (cont'd)
IF IT'S URGENT, I'M CRYSTAL, CALL ME
FOR SPECIAL SERVICE, AFTER HOURS
GEORGIE
LAVA LUMPS, CLEAN AND DIRTY
BOULDERS, PEBBLES, BRICKS
THERESA
CALL ME BEFORE FIVE-THIRTY
I'LL GET YOUR ROCKS OFF BY SIX!
CHORUS
OOH OOH OOH HICKSVILLE ROCKS
OOH OOH WOO HOO HICKSVILLE ROCKS
OOH OOH OOH HICKSVILLE ROCKS
OOH OOH WOO HOO WOO HOO HICKSVILLE ROCKS!
ERNEST
(Reading)
Prices are coming down down down all this week at www.HicksvilleRocks.com. Follow us on Twitter at Hicksville Rocks, like us on Facebook, and subscribe to our Youtube Channel, “Rocks Box”!
MAJOR DON
(Off)
Knock Knocks! Hicksville Rocks!
THERESA
Ooh. A customer!
Enter MAJOR DON in MILITARY UNIFORM.
MAJOR DON
A major customer! Hola sky-watchers!
THERESA
Major Don.
ERNEST
(nervous)
Ahhh
MAJOR DON
And you must be ADAM?
ADAM
Hello.
MAJOR DON
Bienvenido! I made you . . . .
MAJOR DON produces a FOIL-WRAPPED PACKET.
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
... a Reina Pepiada!
MAJOR DON gives the FOIL-WRAPPED PACKAGE to ADAM.
ADAM
Er, gracias.
MAJOR DON
De nada. I love to cook!
MAJOR DON produces PAPER DOCUMENTATION from his OTHER POCKET and discreetly offers it to ERNEST.
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
And, for you, Ernesto, ... Export Permits. Get ‘em while they’re hot. Got the money?
ERNEST
(awkward)
Ah ... Sorry Don. not yet. It’s been difficult.
MAJOR DON
Difficult? No. Obtaining permits. That’s difficult.
And operating without them, for you, very difficult, I think. So ...
ERNEST
How about a nice specimen?
GEORGIE offers MAJOR DON a ROCK.
GEORGIE
For your collection.
MAJOR DON
Hmm. Pretty, but ...
THERESA
Please Don. We’re desperate.
MAJOR DON
(conspiratorially)
Maybe something more scientifically interesting?
ERNEST
(puzzled)
Such as?
Major Don gathers himself.
MAJOR DON
Hicksville Rocks, we have a problem. I love you all. But your low rent and permits do not fall from the sky. I’ve been double-dipping an old budget for secret research – the “Dos-Equis” files – since 1993. And now I’m being audited ... by the Mexican Pentagon.
THERESA + GEORGIE
The Mexican Pentagon?!
MAJOR DON
It’s OK. I cooked the books. Told them we found something.
ERNEST
Who did?
MAJOR DON
You did! I tried to tell them the truth was still "out there", but ... they want concrete results.
ERNEST
Concrete from space?
MAJOR DON
A clue. I’m not saying aliens, but ... Have you heard the theory that all life on earth may have originated from bacteria on a meteorite?
ERNEST
Panspermia.
THERESA
Eew
MAJOR DON
(knowingly)
That ... would be interesting.
GEORGIE
You want us to fake an organism.
THERESA
Georgie!
MAJOR DON
DNA. Just a bit of this, a bit of that. Enough to get the funding.
ERNEST
Sounds risky.
#4 SPICE IT UP!
MAJOR DON
DONT BE AFRAID OF WHAT I’M SAYIN’
COS I’M A BONA FIDE MAJOR DON
I EARNED MY STAR IN THE KITCHEN
OF THE MEXICAN PENTAGON
WHEN MEN IN BLACK ARE BENT ON FACTS
THERE'S NO TIME TO PLAY IT STRAIGHT
USE COMMON SENSE, INVENT, RELAX.
I’LL HELP YOU TO CREATE
A TEAM NEEDS A CAPTAIN
A FAMILY NEEDS A FATHER
A KITCHEN NEEDS A CHEF
OR THERE'S NO ENCHILADA
CHORUS
AH AH SPICE IT UP!
MAJOR DON
WANNA KEEP YOUR PLACE? WHATCHA GONNA DO?
CHORUS
AH AH SPICE IT UP!
IT’S THE ONLY WAY I (HE) CAN SAVE YOU
AH AH SPICE IT UP!
MAJOR DON
IF YOU WANNA STAY, WHATCHA GONNA DO?
CHORUS
AH AH – SPICE IT UP!
MAJOR DON laughs.
ERNEST
Make it up?
MAJOR DON
Hmm ...
THERESA
Mix it up?
MAJOR DON
Sí.
GEORGIE
Sex it up?
MAJOR DON
Claro.
ADAM
Mex it up!
MAJOR DON
Exacto!
CHORUS
Venga!
MAJOR DON
YOU FIND ME THE MEAT
YOU, A LITTLE CHEESE
YOU, THE SPICY DETAILS
I CAN WRAP AROUND WITH THESE
SIMPLE INGREDIENTS
SKILLFULLY COMBINED
WHEN I TURN UP THE HEAT
IN THE GRILL OF MY MIND
AY AY AY!
CHORUS
COMO SERA HACERLO?
ENROLLADO. ENTIENDES?
MAJOR DON
THE MOST HALF-BAKED CONCOCTION EVER SOLD
CHORUS
LIKE A GRINGO’S BURRITO
MAJOR DON
MUST NOW UNFOLD
CHORUS
AH – AH – SPICE IT UP!
MAJOR DON
IF YOU WANNA STAY
CHORUS
WHATCHA GONNA DO?
AH – AH – SPICE IT UP!
IT’S THE ONLY WAY I(HE) CAN SAVE YOU
CHORUS (cont'd)
AH – AH – SPICE IT UP!
YOU WANNA KEEP YOUR PLACE?
WHATCHA GONNA DO?
AH – AH – SPICE IT UP!
MAJOR DON
I have faith in you my friends. Scientific breakthrough by Friday, or get out of the kitchen. OK? DNA scanner arrives tomorrow. Go with God!
Exit MAJOR DON
BLACK
SCENE 4
NIGHT - DESERT
Sound: Breezes
Adam walks out, in a BATHROBE, checking his PHONE.
THERESA
(off)
Goodnight Adam. If you're hungry, there's some more chitlins on the stove!
ADAM
Er, OK, thanks Aunt Theresa.
THERESA
(off)
Don’t stay up too long. Bolt the door when you come.
ADAM
Sure. Thanks. Goodnight!
(checking phone)
Meanwhile, in the world.
(reading)
A cat who successfully predicted lottery numbers was given a whole salmon as a reward! That’s nice.
(scrolls)
Ate too much and died. Owner, Felicity Gorge, said she will miss her pet very much. It's nobody's fault, and everything happens for a reason.
That’s what Mum and Dad said.
(feeling cold)
Brrrrr.
He stretches. Notices a solitary star.
ADAM (cont'd)
Doesn’t bother you, does it? Cold. Loneliness.
If you can shine on, I s’pose i should try.
#5 LITTLE STAR
Sound: Breezes.
ADAM (cont'd)
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, LITTLE STAR
THOUGH PALE AND DISTANT YOU ARE
FOR SHINING YOUR LIGHT TO ME
SO THAT I CAN SEE ... SO FAR
LUCKY STAR, IN THE HEAVENS
IF YOUR HEART CAN REACH THIS LIGHT-YEARS LENGTH
PLEASE BEAM INTO ME WHAT I’M MEANT TO BE
AND GIVE ME STRENGTH?
Transition to ...
EVENING – BEDROOM
ADAM enters his BEDROOM. The LITTLE STAR shines through the WINDOW.
ONE DAY I’LL FLY UP LIKE ... A FLY? THROUGH A WINDOW
I'LL SEE MY LIFE FROM HIGH ABOVE
ONE DAY I’LL LIE DOWN AT NIGHT, UNDERSTANDING
WHY YOU TRY TO FILL THE EMPTY SKY
WITH YOUR FLICKERING LIGHT OF LOVE
ADAM removes his BATHROBE and gets into bed.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, LITTLE STAR
SHINE ON, WHILE I SINK DEEP
INTO PLANET BED
LET FATE ROTATE AROUND ME WHILE I SLEEP
ADAM reaches up and pulls a CORD hanging over the bed. Lights out.
The STARS s-l-o-w-l-y move.
SCENE 5
NIGHT - BEDROOM
ADAM is sleeping.
Sound: WIND, mixed with other strange VIBRATIONS and LOW FREQUENCIES.
#6 VISITATION ZERO
A FIGURE appears in the half light, wearing a skin-tight suit and mask with high-forehead and large eyes, like the classical alien face. It moves gracefully toward the Adam's bed.
ADAM wakes and sits upright.
He scans the room, wondering why he is awake, sees the mysterious FIGURE and reacts.
He is about to throw himself out of bed ... but hesitates.
ADAM
It’s a dream. It’s a dream. It’s a dream.
Quivering with fear, he slowly turns back to the figure.
Who’s there ..? What ...?
The eyes! The eyes! ...
#7 THE EYES
ADAM (cont'd)
THE EYES I SEE
SEEING ME
SEEM TO KNOW
EVERYTHING
GAZING INTO ME
STARING RIGHT THROUGH ME
DOWN MY SPINE
OUT TO MY SKIN
THE EYES ATTACK
REFLECTING BACK
BLANK BLACK UNBLINKING
OPENING A HOLE
INTO MY SOUL
I’M STUCK
STARED DOWN
SINKING
Sound: the figure communicates TELEPATHICALLY, with a female voice.
The FIGURE raises a futuristic spear - the FAZER – points it at ADAM and adjusts a setting.
AURIGA
Do not fear. Resist nothing.
AURIGA (cont'd)
“Acceptance?”
She gestures with the spear, but the nearby FUNKY SPACE ROCK causes it to malfunction like the clock radio did earlier.
Lights: flicker.
Sound: WEEeeeeoooo! FZZZZzzzz.
ADAM
(nervously)
Oh, er, sorry. It’s that rock. Interference.
AURIGA tries again.
AURIGA
(uncertain)
“Acceptance?”
Sound: WEEeeeeoooo! FZZZZzzzz.
Same problem.
She looks at ADAM for a reaction.
ADAM shrugs.
AURIGA backs away.
ADAM
No wait! Don’t go. Stay. Look. “Acceptance!”
ADAM throws his arms up and falls back into bed,.
AURIGA hesitates.
ADAM lies silently.
AURIGA waits.
No movement.
AURIGA returns cautiously to the side of the bed.
She places a hand on ADAM’s FOREHEAD, in the manner of a NURSE.
ADAM is still.
AURIGA relaxes.
She places the FAZER on the NIGHTSTAND.
She folds back the BED COVERS.
She places her HANDS on ADAM’s THROAT, as if EXAMINING, or HEALING him.
Her HANDS move to his CHEST.
Now to his STOMACH.
ADAM giggles.
ADAM (cont'd)
Hee hee.
AURIGA jumps back.
ADAM (cont'd)
It’s OK. Sorry. I just want to talk.
ADAM turns the light on.
AURIGA backs away.
ADAM picks up the FAZER and offers it to her.
ADAM
You forgot your, er, wand?
I was trying to tell you before.
It won't work near the funky space rock.
But if you use it here. Look . . .
Sound: ZZZZZZaaaappppp!
ADAM accidently zaps AURIGA with the FAZER.
A bright beam of RED light.
Sound: ZZZZZZaaaappppp!
AURIGA
(entranced)
“Acceptance.”
ADAM
Oops. Sorry. I’ll turn it off. Hang on.
Sound: ZZZZZZaaaappppp!
ADAM fazes AURIGA again.
AURIGA is jolted by the effect.
She clutches her HEART.
AURIGA, through her MASK, GAZES at ADAM. She tilts her head. She squirms. She GIGGLES.
The FAZER has made her instantly and magically fall in LOVE with ADAM.
She takes a step towards ADAM, and removes her the MASK. AURIGA is a humanoid female. Her eyes are wide. Her hair is blonde. (whatever her ethnicity)
ADAM is now as stunned as she is.
Without breaking the gaze, AURIGA places her MASK on the night-stand and approaches ADAM, entranced.
#8 CLEAR SKY
AURIGA
OUT OF A CLEAR SKY
A FEELING FELL INTO MY HEART
LIKE A BOLT FROM THE BLUE
OUT OF A CLEAR SKY
I’D CONCEAL IT, BUT SOMETHING HAS STARTED
LIKE I NEVER KNEW
AURIGA approaches ADAM.
AURIGA (cont'd)
I’VE BEEN HIDING MY LIGHT FOR SO LONG
NOW THE MOMENTS ARRIVED,
MY SHYNESS IS GONE
IF YOU TAKE MY HAND
I’M READY TO LAND AND GO ON
BUT IN A CLEAR SKY IS WHERE I BELONG.
AURIGA extends her HAND.
ADAM looks at the FAZER.
ADAM
Wow! This thing really works!
ADAM drops the FAZER and takes AURIGA’s hand.
ADAM (cont'd)
OUT OF A CLEAR SKY
AS SOON YOU WALKED THOUGH THE DOOR
AURIGA
OF THE WARDROBE
ADAM
I SUDDENLY KNEW
OUT OF A CLEAR SKY
THE FUTURE I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR
AURIGA
IN THE DARK
ADAM
IT’S ALL COMING TRUE!
AURIGA + ADAM
I’VE BEEN HIDING MY LIGHT FOR SO LONG
NOW THE MOMENTS ARRIVED,
MY SADNESS IS GONE
WITH THIS FEELING INSIDE
I'M READY TO FLY, SO COME ON
IN A CLEAR SKY, IS WHERE WE BELONG.
They dance.
In a swirl of musical and visual magic, Adam and Auriga float up into an out-of-body midnight swim, in transcendent glittering space.
Transition to ...
SPACE
SPIRITS
STAR PALACE
STAR PALACE
AURIGA
YOU LEFT YOUR POINT-OF-VIEW
LET LIGHT
INTO THE DARK
HERE’S THE PRIZE
TRUE FREEDOM.
IN A PALACE
OF STARS
AURIGA + ADAM
TOGETHER,
INTERMINGLED
HERE, NEAR, FAR
EVERYWHERE
EVERYTHING
ALWAYS,
HAPPENING
IN A PALACE
OF STARS!
I ... HAVE BEEN DOWN THERE FOR SO LONG
TONIGHT WE’LL FLY ... ABOVE THE CLOUDS, WHERE LOVE BELONGS
SO HIGH ... THE LIGHTNESS OF YOUR TOUCH
LIFTS MY MIND UP FREE TO HEAVEN
OUT OF BODY, SEE SO MUCH, IN A CLEAR SKY.
BLACKOUT
SCENE 6
SUNRISE – BEDROOM
Sound: Birds singing dawn chorus.
ADAM wakes bolt upright, and bounces on the bed.
#9 NEW YOU TOMORROW
ADAM
I FEEL SO ALIVE TODAY
SO WIDE AWAKE
I HOPE YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY?
AURIGA
Uhhhh
ADAM
OUT OF THE BLUE
THIS SEEMS SO GOOD
MY WISH CAME TRUE
LIKE A DREAM.
I KNEW IT WOULD
NOW I'M SPARKED ... TO LIFE
CHORUS
A STAR IS BORN
ADAM
THE FU-YOU-UTURE’S BRIGHT
CHORUS
WAS DARK. NOW IT’S DAWN
ADAM
NO MORE LONELY NIGHTS
IT'S A NEW ‘YOU’ TOMORROW
YEAH YEAH YEAH
AURIGA is awake now.
AURIGA
Tomorrow?! Mother of Gaia!
What time is it?
ADAM
Breakfast time?
AURIGA
OK, kid. I don’t know what happened, but I’m late for work.
AURIGA grabs clothes.
ADAM
(being cool)
No problem. Just ping me your number and we can ...
AURIGA
HUSH BABE. EXPERIENCE. DON'T POSSESS
THESE DEEP AND MEANINGFUL MOMENTS
MEAN SO MUCH MORE WITH LESS
ADAM
WHAT?
AURIGA
SEEMS WE KISSED JOY AS IT FLIES
BUT YOU CAN’T SPEND YOUR LIFE MOONING AROUND
IN SOME BRIGHT ETERNAL SUNRISE
COS STARS WILL FADE
CHORUS
THAT'S WEATHER
AURIGA
HEARTS ABSTAIN
CHORUS
NO WAY TO BE TOGETHER
AURIGA
I MOVE ON FROM DAY TO DAY
AND NO YOU TOMORROW.
NAH NAH AH-AH
AURIGA stops at the MIRROR to check her appearance.
AURIGA (cont'd)
Now, how do I look? Ew.
ADAM
WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?
AURIGA
Have you got a hair-brush or something?
AND PLEASE, WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST
WITH ALL THE PIZZA AND FAIRY-CAKES
AURIGA fixes her HAIR with her hands.
ADAM
I CAN SEE YOU’VE GOT TO GO
AURIGA
Yup
ADAM
NO FUSS FROM ME
JUST WANTING YOU TO KNOW THAT ...
ADAM + CHORUS
STARS WILL WAIT
AURIGA
I got that
CHORUS
FOREVER
ADAM + CHORUS
HEARTS MAY BREAK
AURIGA
They may
CHORUS
AND BE PUT BACK TOGETHER
ADAM
BUT I WILL
ADAM + CHORUS
SURELY PRAY
AURIGA
Pray?
ADAM
FOR A NEW YOU TOMORROW
YEAH YEAH YEAH!
ADAM tries to embrace AURIGA.
ADAM (cont'd)
TAKE MY LOVE
YOU CAN GIVE IT BACK TO ME
CHORUS
TOMORROW
AURIGA avoids ADAM.
She grabs her FAZER and MASK.
AURIGA
LET GO OF THE QUESTION
OF HOW THINGS ARE GONNA BE
CHORUS
TOMORROW
ADAM
I'M NOT NEEDY
I'M THE ONE FOR YOU, YOU'LL SEE
CHORUS
TOMORROW
AURIGA
IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY, YOU’VE GOT TO SET THEM
AURIGA + CHORUS
FREE FREE FREE
ADAM
LAST NIGHT WAS SO...
AURIGA + CHORUS
FREE FREE FREE
ADAM
BUT WHERE DOES IT GO NOW?
AURIGA + CHORUS
FREE FREE FREE
YEAH!
AURIGA tries to set the FAZER and zap ADAM ... but once again, it doesn’t work
ADAM
I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOUR ...
AURIGA enters the WARDROBE.
WARDROBE DOOR closes.
ADAM (cont'd)
... name?
SCENE 7
DAY - STORE
ADAM slumps, under a BLANKET in a lawn chair.
THERESA next to him on a stool, knitting.
ERNEST and GEORGIE examine ROCKS with a device labelled "DNA SCANNER", then pass them to ADAM, who drops them in a BUCKET.
MAJOR DON talks into a large WALKIE-TALKIE.
MAJOR DON
That was the lab.
ERNEST
And?
MAJOR DON
Negative!
ERNEST
Oh.
MAJOR DON
Iguana dung? Really? Is that your best shot?
ERNEST
Er, kind of. It’s rare.
MAJOR DON
My report said “unique DNA, on a rock-sample of extra-terrestrial origin”. The budget committee is meeting right now. If we don't send something better than rare, they’ll be on us like a metric tonne of meteorites. No more Major Don, and no more Hicksville Rocks.
They stare at him
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
Ándale!
THERESA knits frantically.
ERNEST grabs another ROCK.
ERNEST
OK. This has nano-diamonds ...
ERNEST passes the ROCK to GEORGIE with a hopeful look.
GEORGIE
Brecciated H3 chondrite, with H5 and LL inclusions . . .
ADAM
Uh-huh
GEORGIE offers the ROCK to ADAM, then notices ADAM is gazing dreamily at the sky.
... and a lightly whipped fudge centre?
ADAM (cont'd)
Uh-huh
GEORGIE hits ADAM.
GEORGIE
Hello? Earth to ADAM?
Get involved! It’s your future too, you know.
ADAM
Oh. Sorry.
Er, “Lightly whipped”.
ADAM takes the ROCK, muttering to himself.
ADAM (cont'd)
Whip it up. Mix it up. Make it up. Mex it up.
ERNEST
Bad dreams i can understand,
but ever since that windy night, he’s been ... What is this?
GEORGIE examines ADAM, as if he was a peculiar rock sample.
ADAM notices and tries to act natural.
GEORGIE
Sleep-deprived?
Talking to himself.
Gazing at the sky.
ADAM
The sky is interesting.
GEORGIE
Teeth, freshly brushed.
ADAM
Basic hygiene.
GEORGIE
(sniffs)
Is that deodorant?
MAJOR DON
Relax, amigos. I know why this boy is unproductive.
THERESA
Why?
MAJOR DON
In my village, we have a saying. "It takes two, to tango."
ADAM
Tango? In Mexico?
MAJOR DON
La Cucaracha, whatever. It's a metaphor. It takes two baby! Allow me to explain ...
ERNEST and GEORGIE keep working.
MAJOR DON picks up two ROCKS from a BUCKET.
#10 DON'T LOOK DOWN
MAJOR DON
(gesturing with ROCKS)
ROUND AND AROUND, IN STABLE ORBIT
REVOLVES THE ASTEROID
CHORUS
COLD AND LONELY
MAJOR DON
NEVER MEETING ANYONE
SOLO, LIKE YOU
CHORUS
BORING STORY
MAJOR DON
THEN, AT LAST
CHORUS
-EROID
MAJOR DON
A DESTINY ENCOUNTER
WITH A ONE-IN-A-MILLION STELLAR BODY
HIS WORLD COMES TUMBLING DOWN
THEY MEET!
HE'S A METEOR!
HE SWOOPS AND SWAYS
HE’S LOST HIS WAY
IN A BLAZE OF GLORY
TRUTH BE TOLD, YOU COULD STAY ALONE, GROW OLD
AND “SAVE YOURSELF”, I GUESS.
BUT NO MAN SHOULD BE AN ISLAND, IN A VACUUM, OF NOTHING
TROUBLE-FREE, BUT PASSION-LESS
WHEN THE YEARS HAVE PAST
CHORUS
-EROID
MAJOR DON
WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER?
A LIFE-TIME OF PERSONAL SPACE
OR A MOMENT OF FIRE?
DON'T LOOK DOWN
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT
IF YOUR PARTNER CONSENTS
AND THE FEELING IS RIGHT . . .
JUST FALL!
BE A METEOR!
ENTWINE YOUR ROTATIONS
BE BOLD AND UNSCAREABLE
LOVE AND RELATIONS
WILL MAKE THE VOID BEARABLE
SPIN CHEST TO CHEST
AS FAR AS YOU CAN GO
LET YOUR ENERGY FLOW
THIS IS THE SPIRIT
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
OF...
CHORUS
OF...
MAJOR DON
TANGO!
Olé!
THERESA
So he’s love-sick?
MAJOR DON
A taste of honey. Forbidden fruit. Can do this to a man.
THERESA
I’ll call the doctor.
ADAM
Er, hang on ...
MAJOR DON
I feel your pain my friend. You had a great time, but she acts like you don’t exist?
ADAM
Like she doesn't exist.
MAJOR DON
Oh
ERNEST
An imaginary girlfriend?
GEORGIE
I hate fake people.
ERNEST and MAJOR DON look at GEORGIE, surprised.
I’ll get more samples.
GEORGIE takes a BUCKET and EXITS.
ADAM
I mean, the night of the storm, something happened, or did it? And I saw something that can help this search, or did I?
I can’t remember. Maybe I'm going crazy.
#11 MYSTERY BOX
RUCCOLA
No-one goes crazy around here without my professional help.
THERESA
Thank you for coming, Doctor Ruccola.
RUCCOLA
No problem. Lucky for you Adam, I specialise in “missing memories”.
ADAM
I don’t remember asking for a doctor.
RUCCOLA
Yes, I hear that a lot.
RUCCOLA (cont'd)
THE HUMAN HEAD IS LIKE A MYSTERY BOX, MADE OF LEAD
BUT NOW SCIENCE HAS THE KEY.
RUCCOLA offers Adam his open HAND. As Adam reaches for it, Doctor pushes Adam’s hand towards Adam’s face, and reclines Adam's chair.
LIE BACK, RELAX, WHILE THE UNCONSCIOUS UNPACKS
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE
CHORUS
YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
TELL US ALL ABOUT IT
RUCCOLA
LET'S UNLOCK YOUR MIND
AND REVEAL WHAT WE FIND INSIDE
Doctor lightly taps Adam’s head.
ADAM
(in a hypnotic trance)
I’M SEVEN YEARS OLD AT CHILD’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
IT’S COLD AND THERE ARE NO PRESENTS FOR ME
RUCCOLA taps ADAM’s head.
RUCCOLA
Good good. Fast forward. Fast forward.
CHORUS
YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
TELL US ALL ABOUT IT
ADAM
I’M NINE AND IT’S TIME
FOR LONG MULTIPLICATION...
RUCCOLA
Fast forward. Fast forward.
ADAM
Fifteen. Zits.
RUCCOLA taps ADAM’s head.
RUCCOLA
<Tut> Fast forward. Fast Forward.
ADAM
Last Monday night.
RUCCOLA
Aha! Yes!
ADAM
MY SELF IS A FLOWER WITH ROOTS IN THE POOL
OF COSMIC CONSCIOUS-NESS
RUCCOLA
Interesting.
ADAM
THE EYES ENTER
I FEEL CONNECTED
LOST IN A KISS
STARS COALESCE
ERNEST
HUH. MUST BE A JOKE DOC!
SEEMS LIKE SOME OTHER GUY’S
TAPED OVER YOUR SHOW.
(accusingly, to Theresa)
IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE.
RUCCOLA taps the OTHER side of ADAM’s head
RUCCOLA
LET’S KEEP OUR MINDS OPEN.
ADAM, REWIND.
ABOUT THE EYES ... TELL ME MORE?
CHORUS
YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
TELL US ALL ABOUT IT
UNLOCK YOUR MIND AND REVEAL WHAT YOU FIND
INSIDE
Transition to ...
SCENE 8
SPACE WITH CRESENT MOON
Auriga swings on the moon, contemplating.
#12 WHY DID YOU?
AURIGA
WHY DID YOU TURN THE LIGHT ON?
WHEN YOU DID, WHAT YOU DID
HAVE YOU NO IDEA OF TIMING?
WHY DID YOU FLIP ME STUPID VALENTINES
WHEN I WAS DOING FI-I-IN-NE
WHY DID YOU TURN THE LIGHT ON?
CRASHING PRIVATE PARTIES BUDDY.
WAY OUT OF LINE
WHY DID YOU TURN IT ALL BACK ON
WHEN I WAS DOING FI-I-IN-NE?
FROM QUIET IN THE DARK
TO LOUD AND ALIVE
A FLAME FROM A SPARK
IN THE HEART
THROUGH THE MIND
FROM LOW AND STRAIGHT AND STEADY
TO HIGH AND FLYING BLIND
MY ENERGY IS FLOWING
MY PLANETS ARE ALIGNED
A KEY HAS TURNED INSIDE MY SOUL
I’M IN A SPIN, I’M ON A ROLL
THE DANCE BEGINS, SO GRAB A HOLD
PLEASE UNIVERSE BE KIND?
THE LIGHT IS ON, WE’RE GOOD TO GO
AND I FEEL ... FI-I-I-I-I-NE
Transition back to ...
SCENE 9
DAY - STORE
Scene as before.
ADAM
It was so real. More than real!
Then we had a fight. She fixed her hair, and disappeared.
THERESA
See, Dr Ruccola? Now we know what happened.
RUCCOLA closes the NOTEBOOK.
RUCCOLA
Hmm. An elaborate “experience”. But we have to be scientific. No new bruises? No evidence of any kind?
ADAM
Just a feeling. The earth, surrounded by black. Am I going crazy?
RUCCOLA
No. No. Quite normal. Paranoia! Emotional instability. Lucid dreams. Magical beliefs.
The sense of adolescent omnipotence resists emerging real-world limitations and inter-dependence – necessitating rebirth of the process of separation and individuation.
ADAM
Oh?
RUCCOLA
Grow up! Move on.
ADAM
You mean ... forget her?
RUCCOLA
The dream woman? Of course. Obsessing on such fantasies will poison the mind.
ADAM pulls his quilt tighter around him.
THERESA
But what if she’s not poison? What if she’s ... the cure?
RUCCOLA
Please. Science has all the answers it needs without ... apparitions. If it can’t be proved, it can’t exist.
ERNEST
What if it's real in some way we don't understand yet? Like fireballs falling from the sky, for millions of years,
(holds up a space-rock)
before people had a clue what they were.
THERESA
I, for one, choose to believe your experience, Adam. And it's feels liberating!
#13 INFINITE
THERESA (cont'd)
AN INCH OF NIGHT, COMPLETELY BLACK
WITH NOTHING THERE TO SEE
TURN UP THE BRIGHTNESS
STARLIGHT! IT’S AWFULLY GALAXY!
THE TRUTH REVEALED, IN SKIES ABOVE
MAY BE TOO BIG FOR MINDS TO KNOW
I’VE GOT A FEELING. AND THAT’S ENOUGH.
BELIEF CLINGS
BUT FAITH ...
THERESA mimes letting go.
(to ADAM)
LET’S GO
THERESA (cont'd)
(to RUCCOLA)
TELL ME HOW CAN YOU KNOW, WE’RE THE ONLY ONES . . . ?
I'VE BEEN THINKING IT OVER
TELL ME HOW CAN YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALONE
IN SUCH A GREAT BIG SKY?
TELL ME HOW CAN YOU KNOW, THERE ISN'T SOMEONE OUT THERE,
THINKING IT OVER
TELL ME HOW CAN YOU KNOW, THERE ISN’T SOMEONE RIGHT NOW,
LEARNING TO FLY INTO ...
(to ADAM)
SPACE
IT’S A PLACE
THAT CAN BE SOMEWHAT OVERWHELMING
THE WAY IT EXPANDS, YOU KNOW,
ON ... AND ON ... AND ON?
ERNEST
IT'S INFINITE
THERESA
THERESA puts her ARM round ADAM.
BUT I DON'T FEEL SMALL
HUDDLED ALL, ON THIS TINY PALE BLUE DOT
‘COS I HOPE A LOT
THOUGH SPACE FEELS BIG RIGHT NOW WE MIGHT GROW INTO IT!
THERESA (cont'd)
(to ERNEST)
WHEN I WAS A CHILD I EXPERIENCED
MYSTICAL THINGS I CAN’T EXPLAIN.
I WAS AFRAID, I CLOSED MY EYES.
THE MOMENT NEVER CAME AGAIN
THERESA + ADAM
SPACE IS A PLACE
THAT CAN BE SUPER-NOVA-WHELMING
THE WAY IT EXPANDS SO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON
ERNEST
STILL INFINITE
THERESA + ADAM
WE COULD ALL DO WITH A NEW WORLD VIEW
FROM OUR TINY PALE BLUE DOT
COS IT’S ALL WE’VE GOT
AND THOUGH THE COSMOS FEELS BIG RIGHT NOW
WE MIGHT GROW INTO IT
MAJOR DON, ERNEST and RUCCOLA are struck pensive by this profound thought.
MAJOR DON
IT’S A GLORIOUS MYSTERY
THERESA
BUT WE MIGHT GROW INTO IT
ERNEST
AN ENDLESS VOID
THERESA
BUT WE MIGHT GROW INTO IT
ADAM
AN IMPONDERABLE VACUUM
THERESA
BUT WE MIGHT GROW INTO IT
GEORGIE
A SPACIO-TEMPORAL ABYSS!
THERESA
BUT WE MIGHT GROW ...
Hang on, Adam, what was your one?
ADAM
You know, a vacuum.
THERESA
Aha!
THERESA hurries out of the room.
ERNEST
Is she alright?
RUCCOLA
Well, at her age, you know, they can go slightly ...
THERESA returns, with a small VACUUM CLEANER.
THERESA
I’m back!
(to RUCCOLA)
What's the last thing Adam said under hypnosis?
RUCCOLA checks NOTES.
RUCCOLA
Er, the blonde woman “disappeared”?
THERESA
Fixed her hair and disappeared.
ERNEST
So the imaginary girlfriend has imaginary hair?
THERESA
Not imaginary. Real. Long. And . . .
She holds up, between finger and thumb, a HAIR.
Blonde!
MAJOR DON
Ay Mama!
GEORGIE takes the HAIR and pus it in the SCANNER.
GEORGIE
Scan it.
ERNEST
Amazing.
GEORGIE
(sarcastic)
Nice is it?
ERNEST
Very thin. Almost clear. The DNA is human.
ADAM
(disappointed)
Oh
ERNEST
...-ish.
ADAM
(excited)
Really?
ERNEST
But genetically engineered. Nordic, with substitutions. Persian cat, soybean, an extinct variety of Cowrie shell. And there's alphanumeric encoding.
"Clair de Lune Biotech. Two zero nine nine."
MAJOR DON
Uh?
Everyone is puzzled.
GEORGIE
Twenty ninety nine.
MAJOR DON
You mean ..?
#14 WOW!
CHORUS
WOW!
WOW!
MAJOR DON pulls out his WALKIE-TALKIE and makes a CALL.
THERESA
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FROM THE FUTURE!
NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE
WHY SHE DIDN'T CALL YA
FROM UMPTEEN DECADES HENCE
GEORGIE
WE ALL KNOW THAT IT'S COOLER
TO WAIT A DAY OR TWO
EIGHTY-FOUR YEARS – HMM – THAT’S HARSH
BUT WHATCHA GONNA DO?
CHORUS
WOW!
WOW!
ERNEST
REMOTE AND MOSTLY HUMAN
THAT’S JUST YOUR KIND OF GIRL
SHAME SHE HAD TO ZOOM OFF
SHE REALLY ROCKED YOUR WORLD
RUCCOLA
ALL THESE YEARS OF THEORY
AND NOW MY GREATEST CASE
CONTAGIOUS MASS HYSTERIA
IS CLEARLY TAKING PLACE
CHORUS
SHE'S FROM THE FUTURE!
SHE'S FROM THE FUTURE!
WOW!
MAJOR DON waves his WALKIE-TALKIE.
MAJOR DON
I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT. (HEH)
AND I DON’T WANNA KNOW.
BUT THE DNA’S CONFIRMED
AND ALL OUR FUNDING’S GOOD TO GO
THE LAB BOYS LOVE THE SAMPLE.
AND URGENTLY REQUEST
YOU PUSH AHEAD WITH PLANS
TO GET YOUR HANDS UPON THE REST
CHORUS
WOW!
WOW!
ADAM
A MILLION ...
CHORUS
NOW YOU KNOW
ADAM
A BILLION THANK YOU’S, LITTLE STAR
CHORUS
WE'RE NOT ALONE
ADAM
YOU’VE SHOWN LOVE CAN COME FROM AFAR
CHORUS
THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE
ADAM
NOW ITS TIME TO MAKE A START
CHORUS
SO START
ADAM
I KNOW IT’S TIME TO MAKE A START
CHORUS
SO START
ADAM
BUILD A LANDING PLATFORM ... IN MY HEART.
ACT TWO
#15 ENTR'ACTE
SCENE 10
SPACESHIP
LOVELOCK (female, 40ish) is teaching three KIDS.
GLEN (gender-fluid) sits at a meeting table.
A VIDEO SCREEN automatically illustrates the talk...
LOVELOCK
In the mid-21st century, Clair de Lune cloning technology saves endangered species around the world! Rhinos, pandas, river dolphins.
image: Animals
But it's only a matter of time, before people, who also couldn’t or wouldn't mate, sign up to make clones of themselves.
Image: Office worker + test-tubes
When those kids grew up, they of course did the same. Usually, with genetic adjustments, for improved disease resistance, health, appearance, and so on.
Millions of kids. Just. Like. You.
Image: many kids
Then in 2081, The Ultimate Accident poisons the planet with viruses and pollution.
Image: biohazard symbol
Sadly, only genetically-modified clone-people survive.
We build a new civilisation in the Bubble Cities.
Image: Bubble city
A hygenically-sealed, technologically-enabled utopia. Society thrives. Everyone is healthy ... but infertile. Something is missing.
Image: Question mark
KID
(raising hand)
Is it Love, Professor Lovelock?
LOVELOCK
Well I love you, Sammy. But yes, a missing gene. Or maybe we're just out of practice.
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
Exploiting a kinetic hole in the proximity of ...
KID
Uranus?
LOVELOCK
(Dryly)
No. Jupiter.
Image: Kinetic hole in space, near Jupiter
Time-travelling teams are sent to epochs before the genetic-engineering and cloning began, to collect starter DNA samples.
Image: Spaceship
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
A long complicated stealth mission, avoiding detection, in case we alter earth history and cease to exist.
KID
Are you winning?
Image: Question mark
LOVELOCK
So far, it seems wherever Love comes from, it can’t be extracted. It must be revealed voluntarily, in a mysterious state the scientists call being “in the mood”.
So we developed The Fazer.
Image: Fazer
A heart and brain ray, that temporarily dissolves fear, logic, and laziness, and boosts the curiosity, intuition and energy, that, I believe, leads to love.
KID
Cool.
LOVELOCK
Used responsibly, the FAZER is a helpful tool for medical research.
AURIGA hurries in.
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
That's all for today. Back to your pods.
Exit KIDS.
AURIGA
I'm so sorry I'm late.
LOVELOCK
Good morning. Auriga. This is Glen.
GLEN
Greetings!
AURIGA
Hi Glen
LOVELOCK
(to Auriga)
Whose turn is it to be chair-person?
REX
(Off, through a MEGAPHONE)
MINE!
Enter REX (male,42) Confident toxic bachelor, carrying a STAFF with a FAZER and a MEGAPHONE attached.
REX (cont'd)
Now this is a Mothership I’d like to Fly!
AURIGA
(aside to Lovelock)
They sent a Man?
GLEN
(standing)
I present Rex, captain of "The One".
#16 THE MAN
REX
Ha ha! Glad to have you know me.
So we can really “get off”, I brought to the party some factual data, regarding ... myself!
The VIDEO SCREEN illustrates ...
YO! MY NAME’S REX, LIKE A KING
I’M A CLASSIC, JURASSIC PASSIONATE THING
IF YOU EVER NEED A BIG STRONG HAND ON YOUR HELM
I’M A LORD OF THE LAND, AND A KNIGHT OF THE REALM
I’M A PLEASURE DOME, BY ROYAL DECREE
I’M LIKE ROME, COS ALL ROADS LEAD TO ME
I’M A FULL-BLOOD PRINCE MOST CHARMING OF ALL
AND EVERY CINDERELLA WANTS COME TO MY BALL
I DO A FIFTY YARD DASH, A FOUR MINUTE MILE
A HIGH DIVE SPLASH, AND I DO IT IN STYLE
I’M THE BEST OF BREED, I’M A NEW GOLD STANDARD
I’M EVERYTHING YOU NEED, BEAMIN’ DOWN TO YOUR PLANET
I'M FORMULA ONE, I'M A GATTLING GUN
I'M BRIGHTER THAN THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND SUNS
I’M THE BIZ, I’M THE SHIZ, I’M THE SOURCE OF ALL LAUGHTER
A NIGHT TO REMEMBER, AND THE MORNING AFTER
I AM THAT GREAT
I AM THE MAN
I AM THAT GREAT.
I AM THE MAN
THAT’S ME!
(coughs)
Woah. Right. Er ... who needs a vitamin? Vitamin?
LOVELOCK
I’m so sorry. He’s ...
AURIGA
Out of control?
LOVELOCK
Unsustainable.
Rex produces a pill bottle and shakes it at the others invitingly.
REX
Vitamin? Vitamin? Suit yourself.
(Gulp)
Now, that’s enough about me. What do other people say ... about me? They say ...
I’M A BIG MAN ON CAMPUS, NINE FEET TALL
WHATEVER YOU’VE HEARD BABE, BELIEVE IT ALL
I’M A HEAVY-WEIGHT CHAMP, A THOUSAND WATT AMP
THERE’S NO BUSHEL BIG ENOUGH TO HIDE MY LAMP
I’M A SMORGASBOARD OF PRIME BEEF CUTS
THE BE-ALL AND END-ALL, FROM SOUP TO NUTS
I’M RAW CANE SUGAR, HIMALYAN SALT
I’M A 40 YEAR BARREL-AGED SINGLE MALT
I’M A SAMURAI SWORD, A DIAMOND JAM
I’M A FIVE-STAR, BONE-IN, IBERICO HAM
FORGET THE NEW KID, I’M THE BLOCK
HOLD ONTO YOUR CHICKENS, COS I’M THE COCK
I AM THAT GREAT
I AM THE MAN
I AM THAT GREAT
I AM THE MAN
THAT’S ME!
REX breathes heavily from the exertion.
GLEN
Ladies and gentlemen. Please make some noise for ...
REX
Me!
GLEN
The Man!
REX
I’M INTERPLANETARY, EXTRA-ORDINARY
IF I WASN'T SO CUTE, HMM, I MIGHT BE SCARY
I’M THE FINAL FRONTIER, OF DANCE IN THE DARK
FOR ME A LIGHT YEAR, IS A WALK IN THE PARK
MY RIDE’S OUTSIDE, IT’S CALLED “THE ONE”
I’M ON A FIVE YEAR MISSION OF NON-STOP FUN
TO BOLDLY GO, THAT’S WHAT I DO
WHERE NO MAN’S BEEN, SOUND GOOD TO YOU?
I AM THAT GREAT
I AM THE MAN
I AM THAT GREAT
I AM THE MAN
THAT’S ME
(laughs. coughs)
Right. Er ... Good.
REX (cont'd)
Thank you ... But you can call me “Sir”.
LOVELOCK
We’re all equal on the Mothership, remember?
REX
We’ll see. Till then ... call me Rex.
AURIGA
Hello, Rex.
REX
Hi baby.
REX sits.
REX (cont'd)
Glen. Do the honours.
GLEN
Shoulder rub?
REX
Agenda
GLEN
Oh, right. Mission meeting forty-two. All systems nominal. Actions pending ...
REX
Whatever.
(to AURIGA)
You?
AURIGA
I’m sorry?
REX
What are you into?
LOVELOCK
AURIGA is Sampling Team.
REX
Aha! A Prober like us! Don’t you love it? “Blowing minds and blasting behinds.”
AURIGA
Ew no! The Probe is old-fashioned and barbaric. We look for suggestibie subjects, where we can use the Fazer on a mild setting and more humane non-invasive methods, carefully integrated, through dream-scaping.
REX
Spare me the clinical mumbo jumbo. Wham. Bam, Zap'em, Probe ‘em, and split. That’s what I say. Old school. Bit of smoke and mirrors. Woo! Leave them with a story to tell.
LOVELOCK
Yes we know your ways, Rex. The early civilisations are a freakshow now, thanks to you.
REX
Sumeria was the best gig we ever played, lady. I admit the Aztecs got a little messy.
LOVELOCK
Your historical paradoxes have made so many epochs unstable. The 2000s are all we have left. With cameras everywhere. The internet. A mountain of evidence. Any day now, too many witnesses, and boom! There’s a real danger of History Collapse.
REX
Please professor. Another lecture? People in 2099 want babies. We scan DNA till we find the answer. Who cares who sees us? These people are history.
LOVELOCK
Everything’s connected.
REX
In your mind! I happen to like clones. And so do my brothers. heh.
LOVELOCK
You’re an evolutionary dead-end, Rex. We all are. Unless we can make a natural baby, before we’re discovered ...
AURIGA
... we have no future.
REX
Okaaay.
(to AURIGA)
So how’s that going?
AURIGA
Er ... well, fine, more or less. Slight anomaly last night. All under control.
LOVELOCK
Anomaly?
AURIGA
I had a minor Fazer malfunction. An encounter with a subject.
GLEN
What kind of encounter?
AURIGA
Er ... a close one.
REX
Did it create a paradox, collapse the cosmic timeline
and suck all past and future history into a singularity?
AURIGA
No. It was ... nice.
REX
Right! That’s it.
REX stands.
AURIGA
What?
REX
No more nice. Glen, get things ship-shape on “The One”.
GLEN
Yes sir.
LOVELOCK
Where are you going?
REX
This meeting’s over. From now on we’re doing it my way.
GLEX hurries over.
GLEN
But, Rex. Your way?
REX
That’s right Glen. If you can't enjoy your work, what's the point? We’re getting the band back together!
GLEN
Er. It's been a while. Are you sure?
REX
Only one way to find out bubba. Let’s roll!
BLACKOUT
SCENE 11
BEDROOM – NIGHT
ADAM is asleep.
An ominous rumble. The ROCK GLOW PULSE begins.
#17 VISITATION ONE
ADAM sits up.
Small, slim figures with big eyes appear around the room.
The door of the wardrobe opens.
ADAM
Dream woman?
GLEN
And some, baby. You've been upgraded!
Enter GLEN, as a disco diva.
#18 ALIEN LOVE
GLEN (cont'd)
YOU LIKED IT BEFORE
BUT DESIRED SOMETHING MORE?
HERE IT IS BABE
THE DIVA HAS LANDED
I PUT ON A SHOW
WITH MY BRO SISTA FLOW
AND NOBODY LEAVES EMPTY-HANDED
FORGET YOUR PARTAY
WITH MISS SKINNY LATTE
YOU GET MORE OOMPH
WITH MY FULLER FIGURE
WHY STOP AT MANAGEABLE?
WHEN I OFFER TANGIBLE PROOF BABE
THAT BETTER IS BIGGER
I’M A GIFT FROM ABOVE
COME DOWN TO FILL YOU UP
WITH ALIEN LOVE!
SEEMS YOU’VE BEEN MIXING IT UP
WITH MISS VANILLA B-CUP
TIME TO TRY A MORE EXOTIC DISH
I WON’T GIVE IT AWAY
BUT MY SURPRISE ENTRÉE
IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT KETTLE OF FISH
YOU’VE BEEN LOST IN YOUR HEAD
HEDONISTICALLY DEAD
WELCOME BACK TO THE WORLD OF THE SENSES
I DIAGNOSE YOU NEED DOUBLE THE DOSE
AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THIS NEXT NURSE DISPENSES
THE CURE FOR WHAT YOU’RE MISSING
IS MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE ... OF EVERYTHING!
GONNA
GLEN + CHORUS
FILL YOU UP, FILL YOU UP
GLEN
I’M GONNA
GLEN + CHORUS
FILL YOU UP WITH LOVE
GLEN
GET READY FOR THE PROBE
CHORUS
ENTERING YOUR ORBIT
GLEN
LAY BACK, RELAX, UNROBE
CHORUS
ACCEPT IT. ABSORB IT.
GLEN
GET READY FOR THE PROBE
CHORUS
ENTERING YOUR ORBIT
GLEN
GET READY FOR THE PROBE. AH-HA-HA-HA!
CHORUS
GET READY FOR IT, READY FOR IT
GET READY FOR THE PROBE
GET READY FOR THE PROBE
GLEN
Now, try to get comfortable. How are we feeling?
ADAM
(struggling)
Mmm! Mmm!
GLEN
Slightly paralysed?
ADAM
(struggling)
Mmm! Mmm!
GLEN
Good.
(aside)
Tell the master we’re ready
(to ADAM)
Don’t worry about a thing. This is how we’ve been doing it, for thousands of years. It will go a little easier, if you try to think about ... something else.
CHORUS
GET READY FOR IT, READY FOR IT
GET READY FOR THE PROBE
GET READY FOR THE PROBE
Enter REX with LIZARD HEAD-GEAR and FAZER STAFF.
GLEN and the LITTLE HELPERS hold ADAM.
REX strikes a menacing pose.
ADAM
No! No! I don’t like it. This is a nightmare.
I want to wake up. Aaaaarrgh!
REX points his SPEAR at ADAM
The door opens. THERESA enters, with a huge FLASH-LIGHT.
THERESA
(sleepily)
Adam, is everything alright? I thought I heard something. Ooh.
THERESA stares at the illuminated scene.
REX keeps his SPEAR on ADAM, and points his STAFF at THERESA.
REX
Grab her!
The LITTLE HELPERS surround THERESA.
AURIGA enters through the WARDROBE.
AURIGA
Wait! Not the family!
REX
“Acceptance!”
REX fazes THERESA with his STAFF.
sound: ZAAAaaap!
THERESA is entranced.
REX turns the STAFF back to ADAM.
ADAM
(struggling)
Mmm. Mmmm.
GLEN pins ADAM's shoulders.
GLEN
Prepare to be dazzled!
AURIGA
Hey! Get away from him, you ...
AURIGA lunges at GLEN.
REX tries to get a clear shot.
The LITTLE HELPERS skip around THERESA.
REX
Haha! Just like old times.
REX turns on the RADIO.
Music: Funky dance groove.
REX adjusts the STAFF and points it at his own face.
REX (cont'd)
“Maximum acceptance!”
Sound: ZIIIIiiiip!
REX (cont'd)
Ha ha! Wow! That’s the good stuff. People. You gotta try this!
Sound: ZIIIIiiiiip!
REX zaps THERESA.
THERESA
Woo Hoo!
THERESA dances energetically.
The LITTLE HELPERS are delighted by THERESA’s dancing. They turn to REX expectantly.
REX
Hmm You’re a bit small. But ... OK!
Sound: ZIIIiiiip! ZIIiiip! ZIIIIIiiiip!
REX zaps the LITTLE HELPERS.
KID
Weeeee!
The LITTLE HELPERS dance like ravers.
AURIGA and GLEN stop fighting to watch. They are breathing heavily, tired from the exertion.
REX
Need a lift?
GLEN
No, Rex.
AURIGA
Don’t!
REX fazes AURIGA and GLEN.
Sound: ZIIIiiiip!
Sound: ZIIIIiiiip!
AURIGA (cont'd)
(to GLEN)
More?
GLEN
Sure!
GLEN (cont'd)
Raaaaah!
AURIGA
Raaaaah!
REX
(to himself)
Why not?
REX FAZES himself again.
Sound: ZIIIiiip
#19 GET ON THE ONE
REX (cont'd)
SURE, A ROCKET IS SAFER
WHEN ON THE GROUND IT’S SAT
BUT MY SHIP “THE ONE” IS BUILT TO FLY
D’YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THAT? COME ON!
I’LL WAKE YOU
I’LL TAKE YOU
I’M ASKIN’ NICELY
I’M NOT GONNA MAKE YOU
I‘LL FREE YOU ON THE ONE
WE’RE FLYIN’ HIGH, SO SAY GOODBYE
TO US AND THEM AND REASONS WHY
I NEED YOU ON THE ONE
YOU’RE LOOK IS RIGHT
WITH MY INVITE, YOU’RE A V.I.P.
COME ON, THERE’S PLENTY OF ROOM INSIDE
JUST TELL ‘EM YOU’RE WITH ME
10, 9, 8, ... I GOT YA. LET’S GO!
CHORUS
COME ON
REX
I WANNA WAKE YOU
CHORUS
COME ON
REX
I WANNA TAKE YOU
CHORUS
COME ON
REX
I WANNA FEEL YOU ON THE ONE
CHORUS
COME ON
COME ON
REX
I WANNA WAKE YOU
CHORUS
COME ON
REX
I WANNA SHAKE YOU
CHORUS
COME ONE
REX
I CAN HEAL YOU ON THE ONE
CHORUS
COME ON
COME ON
GLEN and the LITTLE HELPERS, dance into the wardrobe and EXIT.
REX pushes ADAM, AURIGA, and THERESA, dancing, to the WARDROBE with his STAFF. Before they can exit ...
REX
Now I'm entirely self-taught on this thing. And I will be improvising. But if I was going to play a solo, it would go a little something ... like this!
REX plays a screaming synthesizer solo on his staff.
(to Glen)
Ha ha ha. We still got it, hey? Ha ha!
(grandly to the universe)
EX MACHINA, DEUS SUM
DE PROFUNDIS, AD LUCEM
ON THE ONE ...
Sound: POWWWWWWW! Thwumph.
REX (cont'd)
What happened?
The music and lights CUT abruptly.
BLACK
Sound: Vehicles, helicopters, guns clicking and soldiers’ boots running.
Lights: Sweep past the window.
THERESA continues DANCING.
MAJOR DON (OFF)
(Tannoy)
Pause the fiesta. We have you surrounded.
The LIGHTS come back ON.
Enter MAJOR DON, with AGENT1 and AGENT2 in sunglasses.
REX is wobbling and breathing heavily.
REX
Dude. The music!
AGENT1 snatches the STAFF from REX and throws it aside.
AGENT2 snaps HANDCUFFS on REX. He sits willingly, on the BED.
MAJOR DON
Party’s over, gringo. You are trespassing.
THERESA is still dancing.
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
And whatever you did to these nice people, you’re gonna pay for it!
REX
(still high)
OK
MAJOR DON, puzzled, pulls out his WALK-TALKIE.
MAJOR DON
(into WALKIE-TALKIE)
Pepe, agentes en cada perímetro y mantenga los helicopteros ... Que? Como? What kind of spaceship?
AURIGA
(interrupting)
Oh thank you thank you thank you. My hero. You saved us!
AURIGA rushes forward and embraces MAJOR DON
MAJOR DON
Really, it’s nothing. Please, tranquila.
(to ADAM)
Is this her?
ADAM smiles sheepishly.
AURIGA discreetly detaches the FAZER from REX’s STAFF, and adjusts it.
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
She’s an attractive person! When you said you were dating an ET, I pictured, you know ...
(turning back to Auriga)
Now, preciosa ...
AURIGA zaps MAJOR DON with the FAZER
Sound: ZOOOOoooop!
MAJOR DON falls instantly ASLEEP, standing up.
AURIGA
“Denied”
AGENT1 and AGENT2 pull GUNS.
AURIGA jumps between them, and fazes each in turn.
ZOOOOoooop!
ZOOOOoooop!
The AGENTS fall instantly asleep, pointing their guns at each other.
THERESA is still DANCING.
AURIGA joins her, dancing a little.
AURIGA (cont'd)
Hi.
THERESA
Woo hoo!
AURIGA fazes THERESA.
Sound: ZOOOOoooop!
THERESA
Wooooo . . . . ..
THERESA slows down.
AURIGA guides her to the door.
AURIGA
Time for a little after-party in your bunk.
THERESA
Yes please dear.
Exit THERESA, sleep-walking.
AURIGA
That’s better.
Sound: Helicopter flies over.
Lights: Sweep past the window.
AURIGA (cont'd)
But the damage is done. Too many witnesses. The authorities!
Sound: EEEEeeeeeerrrrrarkkk.
AURIGA (cont'd)
That is the sound of history collapsing! Good Gaia, Rex! How many times must the Mothership clean up your mess?
REX shrugs.
AURIGA (cont'd)
Men!
She approaches ADAM and raises the FAZER to zap him.
ADAM
No! Please ... Auriga!
AURIGA
Sorry mooncakes. It’s not you. We had fun. But it went too far. Now I need to ... undo it.
ADAM
But ... you can’t undo it. They already have your DNA, and ... I love you!
AURIGA
What?!!
ADAM looks pathetic.
AURIGA (cont'd)
We need to talk.
AGENTS
(waking up)
Eh? Qué pasa?
AURIGA
Shiz.
ZOOOooop!
ZOOOooop!
AURIGA fazes the AGENTS again.
They fall back ASLEEP.
Pause.
AURIGA (cont'd)
(to ADAM)
Alright. Come on.
AURIGA opens the WARDROBE DOOR.
REX struggles with his HANDCUFFS.
REX
What about me?
AURIGA
You had it “your way”. Stick around.
Sound: ZOOOooop!
AURIGA fazes REX. He sleeps.
AURIGA returns to ADAM.
AURIGA (cont'd)
What DNA?
ADAM
Your hair. "Clair de Lune, 2099"?
AURIGA
Really? Oh Galax! Alright. Get in.
ADAM
Where are we going?
AURIGA
Last week, stupid. To get that hair.
ADAM
Back in time?!
Sound: EEEEeeeeeerrrrrarkkk.
AURIGA
Before it’s too late! Go!
EXIT ADAM and AURIGA, through the wardrobe, and slam the door.
Sound: SPACESHIP takes off
REX falls on the floor.
BLACK
SCENE 12
SPACESHIP
Sound: History Collapse noises. Alarms ringing.
LOVELOCK is in the BIG CHAIR.
CREW MEMBERS, NINA and GINA, are at their stations.
LOVELOCK
In Gaia’s name, what happened last night?
Communications?
NINA
Down
LOVELOCK
Shields?
GINA
Down
LOVELOCK
Timeline?
GLEN
All down. Massive fluctuations. I think this is it.
LOVELOCK
History Collapse.
GLEN
You were right.
LOVELOCK
I hate being right. What about “The One”?
GLEN
Still out there.
LOVELOCK
Auriga!
GLEN
And Rex.
LOVELOCK
I don’t know what to do!
Sound: Spaceship docking and airlock.
GLEN
Wait! That’s them.
Enter AURIGA and ADAM.
LOVELOCK
Mercy.
GLEN
What happened?
AURIGA
A bunch of stuff. Some of which we have to unhappen, fast.
LOVELOCK
Agreed. History is collapsing. The epoch is closing. Take the big chair.
AURIGA jumps in the BIG CHAIR.
AURIGA
OK. Thanks. Gina, take Comms.
GINA
(getting up)
Aye aye Colleague.
AURIGA
Nina, Shields.
NINA
(getting up)
Roger that, Auriga.
The two CREW-MEMBERS swap stations.
AURIGA
Glen. Stay exactly where you are.
AURIGA taps numbers into the arm of the chair.
These co-ordinates ... are going to take some fancy flying.
GLEN
Where’s Rex?
AURIGA
Sleeping it off.
GLEN
Look, I’m sorry about last night ...
AURIGA
Forget it. Probably a full moon or something.
Professor Lovelock, this is Adam.
LOVELOCK
Greetings.
ADAM
(looking around, gobsmacked)
Wowww!
GLEN and the crew are staring at ADAM.
AURIGA
Glen? Hit it!
GLEN
Oh yeah. OK. Sure.
GLEN pushes a LEVER.
Warp drive starts up.
sound: WOOOOooooOOOoooo. Zooom.
LOVELOCK
(to ADAM, like a flight attendant)
Well, er, welcome aboard the Mothership.
The exit’s ... there, in the unlikely event of ...
sound: SHWABBOOOM!
Everyone is shaken by an EXPLOSION. Lovelock and Adam fall over.
NINA
Shields sixty percent.
AURIGA
Glen!
GLEN
It’s not me. She’s handling like a whale.
LOVELOCK
(to ADAM)
Just a little ... turbulence.
LOVELOCK stands and gestures to a window.
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
So, er, this is Space.
The view outside looks like a FIREWORK DISPLAY, in a MALFUNCTIONING PLANETARIUM, on ACID.
ADAM
Wowww!
LOVELOCK
And Time. The Continuum. Matter and energy ... Everything’s connected. Er ... Do you have a specific question?
ADAM
Where are we going?
LOVELOCK
Good. Yes. Europa.
ADAM looks out of the WINDOW.
ADAM
Ooh la la.
LOVELOCK
Not Europe. Europa. It’s a moon of Jupiter. There’s a kinetic hole, approximately ...
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
(pointing)
... there, which will return us to 2099.
AURIGA
(shouting)
Not 2099! Last week!
LOVELOCK
Uh?
AURIGA
That’s when this paradox started. Adam and I should never have interacted. So we’ll hang a left, back to last week, and fix everything.
sound: SHWABBABBABBABOOOM!
This ship is rocked by larger explosion and everybody is flung around again.
NINA
Shields twenty percent.
AURIGA
Glen?!
GLEN
I don’t know! Something onboard is warping the warp drive. The ether-vents are full of quantum foam.
NINA
Approaching time-hole threshold.
LOVELOCK
But we can’t take him ...
(to ADAM)
Excuse me.
LOVELOCK crosses for a discreet word with AURIGA.
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
We can’t take him to last week during a history collapse. Because he already exists in that timeline. It’s causing a double paradox.
AURIGA
A DOUBLE paradox? Really? I swear you just make this stuff up sometimes.
sound: SHWABBABBABBABBAABBABOOOM!
The ship is rocked by a larger explosion and everybody is flung around again.
LOVELOCK
I’m not making that up.
NINA
Shields five percent. She can’t take any more of this, co-worker.
AURIGA
OK. So ... Evasive manoeuvres Glen?
GLEN
I’ve lost control.
GLEN points at ADAM.
GLEN (cont'd)
The time-hole is closing, crushing the ship.
COMPUTER
Fault. Fatal. Fault.
Lights flash. More bad noises.
GINA
May Day! May Day! This is Mothership Actual.
We are mission non-effective. Going down with all hands. May Day! May Day!
AURIGA, LOVELOCK, NINA and GINA gape at each other in fear.
AURIGA
Well girls. It’s been an honour ...
sound: SHWABBABBABBABBAABBABOOOM!
This ship is rocked by an even larger explosion and everybody EXCEPT ADAM is flung to the FLOOR.
#20 STORM IN A SPACESHIP
COMPUTER
Fatal fault.
ADAM
Wait! You don’t have to die. I’m causing this by being here, right? So I can save you.
COMPUTER
Fatal fault.
ADAM
THIS STUPID STORM IN A SPACESHIP
IS ALL MY STUPID FAULT
COMPUTER
Fatal fault.
ADAM
WHAT WOULD A REAL HERO DO?
TO BE WORTH HIS STUPID SALT?
COMPUTER
Fatal fault.
ADAM
GREATER LOVE HATH NONE THAN THIS
LAY DOWN YOUR LIFE FOR FRIENDS
COMPUTER
Fatal fault.
ADAM
LITTLE STAR, FORGIVE ME
HERE’S WHERE MY STORY ENDS
COMPUTER
Fatal fault.
ADAM
I’m going outside.
ADAM hits a BUTTON
sound: Schlick!
A SLIDING DOOR opens.
ADAM (cont'd)
I may be some time!
Sound: Schlick!
The DOOR closes.
AURIGA
Adam, No!
sound: Whoosh!
The AIRLOCK empties.
ADAM
Aaaarrrrgh!
AURIGA is horrified.
Bright lights and explosions.
BLACK
SCENE 13
SPACE WITH ROCKS
ADAM suspended.
SPIRITS approach.
#21 MIDNIGHT LAKE
SPIRITS
AT THE END OF A STORMY DAY, YOU ALIGHT
ON THE BANKS OF A MIDNIGHT LAKE
WITH NOTHING LEFT TO FIGHT
SLIP BELOW. SAFE, ALONE.
REST YOUR BONES IN DEEP UNKNOWN
SINK BELOW. SAFE, ALONE.
REST YOUR BONES IN DEEP UNKNOWN
Enter GAIA, the mother earth goddess, surrounded by moving plants and creatures.
GAIA
Your visitors begat one likely future. But life might find another way. I need you, enhanced, to bring a vision, to your people of today ...
#22 COME BACK IN TIME
GAIA (cont'd)
BEFORE YOU TAKE A PART OF ME
WON’T YOU COME BACK IN TIME?
BEFORE YOU BREAK THE HEART OF ME
WON’T YOU COME BACK IN TIME?
GAIA shows ADAM a dream-like VISION.
GAIA + SPIRITS
COME BACK IN TIME AND YOU’LL FIND
THE DAYS WHEN YOU WERE KIND
WALKIN’ IN THE SUN
PLAYING IN THE SUNSHINE
NOW YOU’RE BUILDING SO SKY HIGH
GAIA’S GONNA SAY BYE BYE
BYE BYE
GAIA
BEFORE YOUR TRIBE OUTGROWS ITS SPACE
WON’T YOU COME BACK IN TIME?
BEFORE THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO WASTE
WON’T YOU COME BACK IN TIME?
GAIA + SPIRITS
COME BACK IN TIME AND YOU’LL FIND
THE DAYS WHEN YOU WERE KIND
WALKIN’ IN THE SUN
PLAYING IN THE SUN-SH-INE
NOW YOU’RE BUILDING SO SKY HIGH
GAIA’S GONNA SAY . . .
The VISION freezes.
GAIA + SPIRITS (cont'd)
PRETTY BABY, WHAT’S BECOME?
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE?
THIS SPECIAL PLACE IS HEAVEN SENT
IT WASN’T GIVEN, ONLY LENT.
YOU’RE ONCE UPON
BUT YOU’RE NOT IT
IT ALL GOES ON
SO TRY TO FIT?
BEFORE THE FIGHT BEGINS AGAIN
FIND A WAY TO MAKE AMENDS
DID NO-ONE CHECK WHAT PROGRESS MEANT?
I ONLY HOPE YOUR COMMON SENSES
COME BACK IN TIME!
GAIA wails in pain.
ADAM is shaken.
SPIRIT1
YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL YOU NEED
GO ON WITH THE SHOW. OR TAKE A BOW?
SPIRIT2
THE FATE OF THE PLANET, LIFE ON EARTH
REQUIRES SOME ACTION NOW!
ADAM
I’M SO SORRY
I GET IT NOW
I’D TAKE IT BACK
BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW
GAIA
FIND THE WAY
IT’S NOT TOO LATE
LIKE THE BIOSPHERE.
WE’LL BE “AROUND”.
Exit GAIA.
Adam reaches after Gaia, trying to swim - grasping at the WEIGHTLESS SPACE ROCKS. Weak and tired, he gives up. Arms outstretched, clutching two ROCKS.
#23 MOTHERSHIP
ADAM
ONE DAY, I SAW PLANET EARTH, THROUGH A WINDOW
OUR PLACE OF BIRTH, SO VERY SMALL
LITTLE STAR, I LAY DOWN, UNDERSTANDING YOUR...
LOST ... MESSAGE ... FOR US ALL...
LOST ... MESSAGE .. FOR US ALL ... IN THE UNIVERSE ...
ADAMS arms return to his sides, holding the SPACE ROCKS. As the rocks come close together, they glow and emit a sound: Weeeeooo
ADAM notices the rock reaction. He taps the ROCKS together, in rhythm with his words ...
ADAM (cont'd)
LOST
sound: Bip
ADAM (cont'd)
MESSAGE
sound: Bip Bip
ADAM (cont'd)
FOR US ALL
sound: Bip Bip Bip
ADAM (cont'd)
THAT COULD SAVE OUR SOULS
Sound: Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip
Voices OFF, via RADIO ....
LOVELOCK
(OFF)
What was that?
NINA
(OFF)
Non-random energy emission in the Kuiper Belt, professor
AURIGA
(OFF)
Can you play it back? Zoom in, enhance, all that stuff?
NINA
(OFF)
Of course
ADAM is freezing to death.
Unable to speak, he weakly taps out the signal for the last time...
sound: Bip
NINA (cont'd)
(OFF)
One
sound: Bip Bip
NINA (cont'd)
(OFF)
Two
sound: Bip Bip Bip
NINA (cont'd)
(OFF)
Three
Sound: Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip
NINA (cont'd)
(OFF)
Five
LOVELOCK
(OFF)
Prime numbers!
NINA
(OFF)
Origin located
GINA
(OFF)
It’s a life-form, but pathetically weak ...
CHORUS
(OFF)
Adam!
GINA
(OFF)
He must have made it through somehow.
LOVELOCK
(OFF)
Thank Gaia!
NINA
(OFF)
I’ll plot an intercept
AURIGA
(OFF)
Hold on Adam! Just hold on!
CHORUS
THE MOTHERSHIP!
THE MOTHERSHIP!
THE MOTHERSHIP
HAS COME TO TAKE YOU HOME!
THE MOTHERSHIP
HAS COME TO TAKE YOU HOME!
WE’RE SORRY THAT
WE LOST YOU IN THE NIGHT
WE HURRIED BACK
AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!
AURIGA
(OFF)
Can’t this thing go any faster?
GINA
(OFF, dryly)
Faster than the speed of light.
AURIGA
(OFF)
Well in a straight line at least!
NINA
(OFF)
The intercept is not a straight line. It is an R-bar approach.
GINA
(OFF)
Plus, it’s a bit rocky out here.
sound: Bash! Bash!
COMPUTER
(OFF)
Shields critical.
NINA
(OFF)
See?
AURIGA
(OFF)
Damn the shields! The whole future of humanity could depend on this rescue!
NINA
(OFF)
Well let's hurry then.
GINA
(OFF)
So dramatic.
Sound: Bash! Bash! Bash!
ADAM is unconscious, hugging the SPACE ROCKs.
A SILVER UMBILICAL CORD (or LIGHT BEAM) pulls ADAM to safety.
Sound: Tractor beam
NINA
(OFF)
We got him
GINA
(OFF)
You can leave the space rocks, Adam.
ADAM
(groaning)
Nooooo!
LOVELOCK
(OFF)
Bring it all in.
Sound: ADAM + ROCKS fall into cargo bay
AURIGA
(OFF)
And get him cleaned up. We’ve got some stops to make!
BLACK
SCENE 14
INTERROGATION ROOM
REX sits at a TABLE, HANDCUFFED, wired to a LIE-DETECTOR, but relaxed.
He has LONG HAIR and a BIG BEARD.
He is wearing PRISON CLOTHES.
MAJOR DON stands over him with a CLIPBOARD.
MAJOR DON
Prisoner ... Rex ... Mundy?
REX
(laid back)
Yes sir.
MAJOR DON
You’ve been on a roll. Convicted for narcotics and human trafficking, with extra time for “bad behaviour”.
(reading)
First, La Mesa prison, escape and recapture. Penal de Altiplano, disruption. Reynosa ...
REX
(cheerfully)
That was a riot!
MAJOR DON
Sí Señor. Started by you. Then, here ...
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
(turns page, reading on)
A live concert?
REX
Just a small ...
Sound: Weeeeeoooo.
The LIE-DETECTOR signals.
REX relaxes and the LIE-DETECTOR goes quiet.
Yes sir.
MAJOR DON
Don’t try to lie. The machine will tell me.
(reading)
You made hooch alcohol, from potatoes and toothpaste?
REX
Hooch? It was Creme-de-menthe!
MAJOR DON
Gambling dice, from soap. Chess pieces from soap.
Poker chips from soap. A roulette wheel?
REX shrugs.
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
Basically a whole casino made of soap.
REX
The Luxor. Geddit?
MAJOR DON
No. What about the rehabilitation programme?
Didn’t you try to make something of ... yourself?
REX is silent.
MAJOR DON turns the PAGE.
MAJOR DON (cont'd)
No visitors. Half-rations. The Hose. Psychotherapy.
Bible study. Many many nights in The Cooler.
(flicks through pages)
Cooler ... Cooler ... more Cooler. And now ...?
REX considers.
REX
I’m cool.
MAJOR DON
Hmm.
REX
(sincere)
I did some thinking. That’s kind of a new thing for me. Salvation from within?
MAJOR DON closes the FILE.
He checks the LIE-DETECTOR.
MAJOR DON
We’ll see. Your lawyer is here.
Enter GLEN, in a lady-lawyer SUIT, carrying a BRIEFCASE.
GLEN
Rex?
REX
Glen??
REX – handcuffed and wired-up – goes for a HANDSHAKE, but GLEN HUGS him awkwardly.
GLEN
Are you alright?
REX
What took you so long?
GLEN
Don’t worry, we’re gonna get you out of here.
MAJOR DON
(interrupting)
Mr, er ... Mrs ... er .. ?
GLEN
Ms.
MAJOR DON
Ms. Glendale. Have we met before?
GLEN
I’m sure you’d remember.
MAJOR DON
Hmm. OK. Have a seat.
GLEN
(puzzled)
You need me to sign something?
MAJOR DON
Perhaps. First, I have a couple of ... queries.
GLEN reluctantly sits at the TABLE opposite REX.
GLEN
Really? I believe all the paperwork is in order.
MAJOR DON lifts PAGES on his CLIPBOARD.
MAJOR DON
That is what is so rare. In Mexico, parole is a complicated process. Many delays. Many forms. Over and over. I don’t think anyone has ever completed it before.
GLEN
Fortunately I have assistants.
MAJOR DON
They missed one crucial detail.
GLEN
(nervous)
Yes?
MAJOR DON
The date.
GLEN
Er ...
MAJOR DON
This appeal was submitted before the prisoner was even captured.
GLEN
Ah well, yes. That’s, er, sharp legal work.
MAJOR DON
Three years before.
GLEN
Computers, eh? If he’s rehabilitated, what’s the difference?
MAJOR DON
As you say. But maybe it’s too soon. Maybe he needs more ... treatment.
REX
No no, please. I’m done, I promise. Not the bible study!
MAJOR DON
It’s hard to be sure he’s really changed.
GLEN
The beard's new.
MAJOR DON
Let's connect both of you to the machine, for, let’s say, an honest appraisal?
GLEN
Well, er...
MAJOR DON pushes GLEN into a CHAIR and connects the LIE-DETECTOR CLIPS to his fingers.
MAJOR DON
Here ... and here.
If Rex is truly sorry, and you believe him, he’s free to go.
GLEN
No way.
MAJOR DON
Guards!
AGENT1 & AGENT2 enter.
GLEN
Oh dear.
MAJOR DON
Think of it as an end-of-term exam. Has Rex graduated?
Or does he need to stay back
(menacing)
... a year ... or maybe two?
GLEN
But, I, this is ridiculous. I'm sure Rex – my client – is completely ...
Sound: Weeeeeoooo.
The LIE-DETECTOR signals.
MAJOR DON
Yes?
REX
It’s OK Glen. I do have a couple of things I wanna say. Honestly.
#24 OLD ENOUGH
REX (cont'd)
ALL ALONE, IN THE COOLER
ONE THOUGHT, BEGAN TO BURN
IF I’M "NOT TOO OLD TO ROCK ´N ROLL"
AM I YOUNG ENOUGH, TO LEARN?
SO MUCH FUN, WITHOUT CEASE
EACH PATH OF PEACE, I DISREGARDED
YOU KEPT THE SHOW, ON THE ROAD
AND BORE THE LOAD, FOR WHAT THE STAR DID
I CAME ON STRONG, DRAGGED YOU ALONG
BEHAVED ALL WRONG, I MADE YOU WORRY
AND NOW, THE TIME HAS COME, TO PLEAD SO DUMB
AND SAY I’M SORRY
IF I'M NOT ... THE MAN ... I WAS
AM I STILL ... ME?
OLD ENOUGH, AT LAST, TO KNOW BETTER
I KISSED THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
I’M SO GLAD I MET HER
BUT I'D RATHER FACE A NEW DAY
THE NIGHT-LIFE’S FADING FAST
I’M OLD ENOUGH, AND WISE ENOUGH, TO KNOW BETTER
AT LAST
ALL THAT TOO MUCH, IS NOW ENOUGH
MY ENDLESS LUST, FINALLY SATED
I DID THE CRIME, I SERVED MY TIME
NOW TRULY I'M ... REHABILITATED?
Major Don checks the lie detector, and nods.
REX (cont'd)
LET THE COLD CLEAR LIGHT OF DAWN
LIFT UP THESE DIRTY EYES
GOODNIGHT FRIENDS, PARTY ON
I NEED TO SEE THE SUN RISE
TO PUSH ON PAST THE POINT, MIGHT SPOILT IT ANYHOW
HAVE WE BEEN HAVIN’ IT, LARGE ENOUGH, FOR LONG ENOUGH
TO KNOW THAT NOW?
I KNOW IT NOW
BECAUSE I’M OLD ENOUGH, AT LAST
TO KNOW BETTER
I‘LL MISS THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
I’M TOTALLY GLAD I MET HER
BUT I’D RATHER FACE A NEW DAY
THE NIGHT-LIFE’S FADING FAST
I’M OLD ENOUGH, AND WISE ENOUGH
... AND TIRED ENOUGH
I CAN’T GO BACK TO THE ONE
BECAUSE I’M MOVIN’ ON
AT LAST!
LET THE COLD CLEAR LIGHT OF DAWN
WASH CLEAN THESE DIRTY EYES
GOODNIGHT MY FRIENDS
PARTY ON
I NEED TO SEE THE SUNRISE
TO PUSH ON PAST THE POINT
MIGHT SPOILT IT ANYHOW
HAVE WE BEEN HAVIN’ IT
LARGE ENOUGH
FOR LONG ENOUGH?
I KNOW WHAT I KNOW
AND I KNOW WHAT I DON’T KNOW
IF THE FUTURE CAN HEAL THE PAST
THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GO
I’LL QUIT
THESE CHILDISH THINGS CAN STAY
JUST SPLIT
THESE ROUNDS OF HELL TO PAY
ADMIT ... I DID IT MY WAY
BUT I’M OLD ENOUGH
TO KNOW BETTER
AT LAST
RARRRR!
REX and GLEN share a moment.
MAJOR DON
Alright! Alright! This is torture. I give in.
(to AGENTS)
Get these sissies out of here.
The AGENTS free REX and GLEN.
REX and GLEN hug.
GLEN
Thank you Major Don sir.
GLEN produces a FOIL-WRAPPED PACKAGE from his bag. It’s the size and shape of a FUNKY SPACE ROCK.
It moves strangely and is hard to handle.
GLEN (cont'd)
This is for you. From ADAM at Hicksville Rocks.
MAJOR DON takes the PACKAGE.
MAJOR DON
Uh?
GLEN
He said you’d know what to do with it. For the "Dos Equis" files?
MAJOR DON
Ah!
BLACK
SCENE 15
NIGHT – BEDROOM
The scene is familiar. The little star twinkles. A figure sleeps in the bed.
Enter ADAM and AURIGA, in MASKS, through the wardrobe.
We hear their thoughts.
AURIGA
(Closing the wardobe door)
We’re here. We’re then, I mean. The night we met.
ADAM
Wow! I can see so clearly. Auriga's butt looks great in that outfit!
AURIGA
The masks have night vision.
ADAM
Did I say that out loud?
AURIGA
And thought projection.
ADAM
Oh. Wow. She is so cool.
AURIGA
Ahem.
ADAM
Sorry.
AURIGA
Set the Fazer.
ADAM
Can’t you do it?
AURIGA
No it has to be you. Fazing your past self into proper acceptance will resolve the paradox.
ADAM
But, if I never meet you ... what about “us”?
AURIGA
History. Not even. The whole timeline will be re-written. Who knows where we’ll pop up.
ADAM
I have to ... I mean I want to ...
AURIGA
(interrupting)
Shh. We had fun mooncakes. But it wasn’t really meant to be was it? We can rewrite it, and we should. I won’t forget you. Trust me.
ADAM is sad.
They touch foreheads for a moment.
ADAM
I trust you.
#25 VISITATION ZERO REPRISE
AURIGA
It's now. Get in position.
AURIGA and ADAM hide, to the side.
The WARDROBE DOOR opens.
AURIGA PAST, masked, enters.
ADAM PAST sits up. He sees the mysterious FIGURE and reacts.
He is about to throw himself out of bed ... but he hesitates.
ADAM PAST
It’s a dream. It’s a dream. It’s a dream.
He slowly turns back to the figure, quivering with fear.
ADAM PAST (cont'd)
Who’s there ..? What ...?
The eyes. The eyes ...
AURIGA PAST speaks TELEPATHICALLY.
AURIGA PAST
Do not fear. Resist nothing.
AURIGA PAST raises her FAZER.
Simultaneously, unseen by AURIGA PAST, CURRENT ADAM, to the side, raises his FAZER.
AURIGA PAST (cont'd)
“Acceptance?”
AURIGA tries to shoot. As before, her FAZER malfunctions.
Lights: flicker.
Sound: WEEeeeeoooo! FZZZZzzzz.
ADAM PAST
(nervously)
Oh, er, sorry. It's that rock. It's ...
Sound: ZAAAAAAaaaap!
Current ADAM shoots.
His FAZER works fine.
ADAM PAST (cont'd)
(entranced)
Acceptance.
ADAM PAST falls back into bed.
BLACK
SCENE 16
EVENING – DESERT
THERESA and ERNEST hang GLOWING DECORATIONS and a WREATH on the PORCH.
#26 BLESSED
THERESA
THE LONGEST-NIGHT CANDLES ARE BURNING
FOR WINTER SOLSTICE EVE
HOPE IN MY HEART IS RETURNING
IT'S THE SEASON TO BELIEVE
ERNEST
COME HOME FOR THAT HOLIDAY FEELING
JOIN IN OUR WARM REFRAIN
WHEREVER YOU’VE BEEN,
IN TIME IN-BETWEEN
WE'LL SOON BE TOGETHER AGAIN
CHORUS
THIS HOUSE IS BLESSED
OUR FAMILY IS BLESSED
BLESS ALL BEINGS
AND THE EARTH
WISH THEM WELLNESS
AND PEACE
THERESA
IT WOULDN'T BE YULETIDE WITHOUT YOU
ERNEST
AND YOU
THERESA + ERNEST
AND EVERY ONE
AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE HERE
IT WOULDN'T BE YULETIDE WITHOUT YOU
They enter the store.
Transition to ...
EVENING – STORE
ADAM's BED is in the store. He is propped up with his EYES CLOSED and an ICE-PACK on his head.
GEORGIE reads aloud to ADAM from a BOOK.
GEORGIE
(reading)
"As the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left, so the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting.“
Georgie closes the book with a SNAP.
ADAM
(groggily)
Ungh. The End?
GEORGIE
Adam! You're awake!
ADAM groans.
ADAM
(weakly)
Georgie?
Georgie lifts the ICE PACK.
GEORGIE
You had brain fever. I nursed you all week.
ADAM
I am so glad to see you. Uncle Ernest. Aunt Theresa. I'm home!
THERESA
Welcome back to the land of the living dear. I'm sorry that "Shamanic Tea" really made you sweat it out. I promise to never buy herbal remedies by the side of the road ever again for a while.
ADAM suddenly sits up.
ADAM
WONDER, GRATITUDE AND LOVE!
THERESA
THE MESSAGE? YOU FIGURED IT OUT?
ADAM
IN THE DARKEST OF NIGHT
WE CAN MAKE OUR OWN LIGHT.
ERNEST
THAT'S SOMETHING WORTH THINKING ABOUT
ALL
THIS HOUSE IS BLESSED
OUR FAMILY IS BLESSED
WISH ALL BEINGS
AND THE EARTH
WELLNESS
AND PEACE
IT WOULDN'T BE YULETIDE WITHOUT YOU
AND YOU
AND ... EVERY ONE
AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE HERE
IT WOULDN'T BE YULETIDE WITHOUT YOU
WITHOUT YOU.
THERESA hangs the last GLOWING DECORATION.
THERESA
Well, isn't that nice. Happy hour!
(glancing at ADAM and GEORGIE)
Ernest, help me get the drinks.
Exit THERESA and ERNEST.
Georgie removes her BASEBALL CAP and DIRTY OVERALLS.
In jeans and shirt, she visibly relaxes, and feels more "herself".
She touches ADAM’s forehead, echoing Auriga's stance earlier.
GEORGIE
You seem a lot better.
ADAM
So do you!
Georgie eye-rolls and steps back. There is a MOMENT between them.
#27 DING DONG
CHORUS
(OFF)
DING DONG! MERRILY ON HIGH
IN HEAV'N THE BELLS ARE RINGING:
DING DONG! VERILY THE SKY
IS RIV'N WITH ANGELS SINGING.
THERESA
ADAM, you have visitors.
They say you met at a rock festival, in Sweden?
SPIRITS
GLO-O-O-O-O-O-RIA,
HOSANNA IN EXCELSIS!
ENTER GLEN and REX, dressed as Swedish hippies, holding hands. Behind them, the SPIRITS.
ADAM
(confused)
Errrr . . .
GLEN
(fake Swedish accent, conspiratorially)
Ze ... er ... Europa Gaia festival?
ADAM
Your faces are familiar, like something from a ...
(realising, nervous)
Heyyyy!!!
REX + GLEN
(Swedish accent)
Hej Hej!
ADAM is uncomfortable.
GEORGIE
OK. Not too long please. He's resting his brain.
EXIT THERESA and GEORGIE.
NINA/SPIRIT1
We just came to say goodbye.
GINA/SPIRIT2
(closing the bedroom door)
... And to give you the good news.
Sound: Low vibrations.
NINA/SPIRIT1 opens the wardrobe.
Enter AURIGA and LOVELOCK.
AURIGA is heavily PREGNANT.
AURIGA
Surprise!
ADAM
Wow! You’re pregnant? Congratulations!
AURIGA
Thank you.
ADAM
Did I ... ?
AURIGA
You did everything right, mooncakes.
LOVELOCK
Our mission is finally complete.
GLEN
The Mothership returns to 2099 tonight.
ADAM
And me?
AURIGA
You’re staying in the here and now, where you belong, with Professor Lovelock to keep an eye on you.
ADAM
But Auriga, I thought ...
AURIGA
(interrupting)
I’ve done the thinking for both of us. This baby is the future, but it’s not your future. What you’ve seen and done has created a parallel timeline. A new human history that is yet to be written. You have to be part of that difference.
ADAM
You're only saying this to make me stay.
AURIGA
I'm saying it because it's true. If that spaceship leaves tonight with you on it, you'll regret it, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but ...
ADAM
So I’ll never see you again?
AURIGA
We'll always have Hicksville. We made sure of that last night.
ADAM
When you said you wouldn’t forget me?
AURIGA
I won’t. And remember this: A hundred years from now,
When your light’s long gone out, the whole youth of the world, in my timeline, will be descended from you. And every time I see their little faces . . .
AURIGA gently places her hand under ADAM’s chin and raises it so their eyes meet.
ADAM smiles bravely.
AURIGA (cont'd)
I’ll be looking at you kid.
#28 LATER
AURIGA
LATER, MUCH LATER
YOU'LL LOOK BACK AND FIND
WHAT WE HAD WAS RIGHT
BELIEVE ME
ALL WE NEEDED WAS JUST THAT NIGHT
COS LONGER
WOULDA FELT WRONGER
LATER AHA. LATER AHA
ADAM
But, but . . ..
LOVELOCK comforts him.
LOVELOCK
LATER, MUCH LATER
YOU’LL APPRECIATE-THE-WHOLE-DESIGN
AND NO LONGER PINE
BELIEVE ME
WITH DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, ACCEPTANCE
AND GRIEVING
BEHIND YOU
YOU'LL FEEL FINE
LATER AHA. LATER AHA
CHORUS
SEE YOU LATER. MUCH LATER.
LOVE YA BABY. BUT I GOT TO GO.
EXIT AURIGA and GLEN.
Enter THERESA with a TRAY OF FOOD.
THERESA
TIME IS A HEALER
A GOOD HOT MEAL
AND YOU’LL SOON BE BACK ON THE MEND
THERESA brings the TRAY to ADAM in bed.
YOU DON'T NEED A LOVER
UNDER THE COVER
IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS
YOU’LL BE FEELING YOUR OLD SELF AGAIN
CHORUS
AND AGAIN
Exit Auriga.
ADAM tucks in a NAPKIN, grabs a SPOON and eats.
Enter GEORGIE.
GEORGIE
THEN SOON.
PRETTY SOON.
I’M HOPING DUH! YOU’LL SEE
THE REAL DEAL ROUND HERE IS NOT HER. IT'S ME
SO MAYBE MAKE AN EFFORT?
AND TRULY, ADAM, DEEPLY
WE'LL SEE
SOONER OR LATER
ADAM gets up out of bed, smiles at GEORGIE, and takes her hand.
ADAM
NOW
RIGHT NOW
EVERYTHING LED HERE SOMEHOW
AND I UNDERSTAND
FINALLY, THIS:
WE'RE HELPED BY HIDDEN HANDS IF WE FOLLOW OUR BLISS
SO GEORGIE, IS THIS WHEN WE KISS?
GEORGIE
Maybe later. Let's dance.
ADAM and GEORGIE dance.
LOVELOCK
Wooo! I’ve got a good feeling about those two.
(dancing)
Rumba!
Enter MAJOR DON with a foil-wrapped glowing SPACE ROCK. He waves to LOVELOCK and makes chef's kiss gesture.
LOVELOCK (cont'd)
(coy)
Ooh. Major Don!
MAJOR DON
(struggling with package)
LATE? AM I LATE?
IT'S FURTHER CARRYING THIS FUNKY WEIGHT
PLEASE, CHECK THE CLOCKS. TURN ON THE BOX.
THANKS TO ADAM, "BLESS HIS COTTON SOCKS",
THE FUTURE FATE,
OF HICKSVILLE ROCKS
... IS LOOKING GREAT AHA
SO GREAT AHA
#29 HUNKAFUNK
They turn on the TV to see ...
PRESIDENT
It's my honour today, as President of the United Nations of the World, to give a medal, a substantial financial prize, and my own personal thanks, to Adam, and his family at Hicksville Rocks.
Working with a special "pan-national" team, they discovered an extremophile bacteria from space, that digests rock, to generate light, heat, wifi... and a really interesting odor.
These hunks of funky smelling rock symbolise hope and co-operation, exploring true mysteries, doing more with less ... towards clean organic energy, environmental recovery, and a sustainable human future.
As we celebrate this solstice season, remember, if it is a long winter night where you are now, it is also a long summer day, for someone, somewhere else on our planet. We are all in it together, and together, we have all we need.
Seasons greetings to all of us on Spaceship Earth. And bless us, every one! Hit it!
CHORUS
HUNKAFUNK
HUNKAFUNK
HUNKAFUNK
HUNKAFUNK
Everybody dances.
ERNEST
ALL THE WAY FROM SPACE
ADAM BROUGHT IT BACK
FOR THE HUMAN RACE
THE VERY THING WE LACK
THERESA
NOW THE FUNK IS FOUND
A NEW AGE IS BORN
ENVIRONMENTALLY SOUND
RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON
ADAM
SEND THE FUNK TO MOSCOW
AND TO BEIJING TOO
ALL THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD
WE'VE GOT FUNK FOR YOU (AND HERE IT COMES)
GEORGIE
IT’S GOT A LOT OF ENERGY
YOU BANG THE ROCKS TOGETHER
AND THEY LIGHT UP KIND OF PRETTY
ADAM
COAST TO COAST!
ERNEST
SUSTAINABLE!
THERESA
CLEAN!
GEORGIE
POWER FOR EVERY CITY!
CHORUS
WE DON’T NEED – COAL POWER
WE DON’T NEED – OIL POWER
WE DON’T NEED – NUCLEAR POWER
WE GOT HUNKAFUNK!
HUNKAFUNK
HUNKAFUNK
HUNKAFUNK
HUNKAFUNK
MAJOR DON
WHEN THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE
AT THE FOOT OF YOUR BUNK
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?
HUNKAFUNK!
LOVELOCK
WHEN YOU'RE UNINSPIRED
AND YOUR WORLD-VIEW'S SHRUNK
THINK HOLISTIC
HUNKAFUNK
ERNEST
IS IT CHILLY IN CHILE?
DO YOU WANNA BE WARM?
FEEL THE FUNK
GET BE BACK ON FORM
ADAM
IS IT DARK IN DELHI ?
DO YOU NEED SOME LIGHT?
TURN ON THE FUNK
YOU'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT
THERESA
OFFLINE IN ASIA?
NEED SIGNAL BARS?
WE'VE PLENTY OF FUNK
HAVE SOME OF OURS
GEORGIE
THE INEXHAUSTIBLE FORCES
IN THESE NEW ENERGY SOURCES
MEANS NO MORE WAR FOR RESOURCES.
IT’S WORLD PEACE IN A CHUNK!
CHORUS
WORLD PEACE IN A CHUNK (WOO)
COS WE GOT HUNKAFUNK (WOO)
PRESIDENT
You've been a wonderful audience!
Thank you very much for coming!
Goodnight!
THE END